


Beyond Belief

by Seachelle623



Series: Whatever Happens...happens [4]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Adoption, And then everyone else's story through Mark's eyes, Basically Mark's story, Bullying, But I swear it will make sense later, College AU, Exchange Student AU, First chapter is just a backstory, Going to be a long ass ride, High School AU, Hopefully will get better, I'm Sorry, M/M, Mark thinks he's straight in later chapters, Multi, Orphanage, Orphans, Realisation of being gay, Summary feels like clickbait right now because it's not in the first chapter, Swearing, TAEMARK HAS ARRIVED, University AU, but still there, cameos by everyone, not a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-05-09 07:40:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 25,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14711912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seachelle623/pseuds/Seachelle623
Summary: "Mark-ah? What's going on? You don't talk to me anymore.""Hyung, do you ever look at someone and just feel so grateful that they're in your life?""Mark, what are you on-""Of course you do, you're dating Ten-hyung...which is fine! It's just...the person I look at like that...he probably doesn't even think of me as much as I think of him.""Mark...""I'll be fine though, right? Taeyong-hyung, I'll be as happy as you one day, right?""Of course you will, Mark. Why wouldn't you be?"Because whenever I look at you with Ten-hyung...I feel envious because he can hold your hand and kiss you and hug you so much and I just......I just hate myself beyond belief for not being able to tell you that I want you since I have no right to take away your happiness.





	1. The Past

**Author's Note:**

> So my one rule when writing has always been "As long as it's a good plot and people show interest - even just one person - I will finish it" and since people have been showing interest, TAEMARK HAS ARRIVED!

“Hey, are you lost?”

 

Looking up, Mark Lee saw the face of a kid who wasn’t that much older than he was. Lightly shaking his head, he smiled softly at the stranger despite feeling cold to the bone as the rain washed over only him, the stranger being protected by an umbrella.

“I’m just waiting for my parents. They said they were coming,” He replied in his slightly accented Korean, sneezing afterwards. He saw the stranger look at him in alarm before placing the umbrella above both of them.

“You’re catching a cold…I know! My mum can make you something warm to drink!” The stranger exclaimed, making wonder bloom within Mark’s eyes. _Something warm…I want something warm…it’s so cold…_

“Really?” He asked and saw the enthusiasm within the other’s nod. Taking the hand that was outstretched towards him, Mark tried to stay as small as possible under the umbrella to give the other kid as much space as he could.

“Why are you drifting so far away? You’re cold, right?” The kid asked him and Mark could only nod, not knowing where his voice went. His response was answered with the stranger draping an arm over his shoulders, soft smile being directed at him once more. “Warmer?” Nodding again, Mark shot back a smile of his own.

“Very warm, hyung,” He replied and giggled when the other kid chuckled at what he said.

“Taeyong. You can call me ‘Taeyong-hyung’!” The kid introduced himself and looked down fondly at Mark, the smaller child’s eyes shining with discovery. “What’s your name?”

“Mark Lee!” He exclaimed since it was the only thing that he knew how to say confidently, having been in Canada until the month before. “But Lee is my last name!”

“I’ll call you ‘Mark-ah’ then…let’s get you something to drink, Mark-ah,” Taeyong whispered to him and laughed along with Mark as the sound of the rain drained out everything else.

 

~

 

“That memory again, huh?” Mark asked himself once he entered the dance studio that had become a second home to him over the years. Ever since Taeyong had brought him to his house when he was nearly six, the older’s parents insisted that he spend some time with Taeyong at the dance studio that they owned instead of being holed up in the orphanage all day. The other kids there (most of which were younger than his own age of ten) were usually jealous of his privileges and many were confused as to why he hadn’t been adopted by Taeyong’s family yet - Mark refrained the information of Taeyong’s family not being able to raise another child the way that they wanted to from their innocent minds. Opening the door to the practice room that Taeyong mostly spent time in, Mark greeted the older who was currently trying to choreograph a dance.

“Oh hey, Mark,” The other greeted back, stopping the music and taking a look outside through the window. “It’s raining?”

“Yeah, pretty heavy but the new receptionist at the orphanage let me take an umbrella,” He explained, making a mental note to thank the receptionist when he got back. He caught Taeyong frowning at him before the older male of three years looked away.

“I’m really sorry, Mark-ah. I want us to adopt you and everyone else but my parents-“

“It’s okay! New people come every day, hyung! It’s only a matter of time before someone adopts me and I can’t thank you enough for finding me that day!” He exclaimed in a rush, not wanting to see the other sad at all. In order to distract the older male, Mark ran forward to turn turn the music back on and danced. Although he wasn’t anywhere near to Taeyong’s level, he was still pretty decent for someone who hadn’t been dancing for long.

 

That day, the practice room was filled with laughter and the faint sound of rain falling on the window.

 

~

 

Mark stared at the innocent pair of eyes that belonged to the small boy who had latched himself onto Mark the minute he had stepped into the orphanage that day. Being nearly eleven, Mark figured that the boy couldn’t be that much younger than himself - three or four years at most. The admiration within the swirling brown orbs were evident as the kid squeezed Mark’s leg even tighter and rested his chin against Mark’s stomach, eyes never leaving his own.

 

“My hyung. Mama, Papa, this is my hyung,” The small boy said before smiling and giggling to himself, making Mark look at the boy in wonder. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Mark heard the other kids whisper about how adorable the smaller boy was and saw Taeyong’s soft smile when his eyes met his own. The older was visiting the orphanage that his parents supported financially from time to time and it seemed as if he was a bit sad at seeing Mark leave.

“Jisungie, you can’t randomly hug people,” The boy’s mother scolded and looked at Mark himself, her head bowing slightly in an apology. “I’m sorry, Jisung is usually a well behaved kid-“

“It’s okay, Mrs Park. He’s cute,” Mark replied while ruffling the small boy’s hair, making the kid laugh and squeal in delight. “Besides, I’m used to people hugging me. The other kids do it too since I’m older than them.”

“How old are you? If you don’t mind me asking…we just don’t want a big year gap between Jisung and his sibling…” The father of the boy asked, smiling softly at Mark and making something in his heart warm. It reminded him of his early memories with his biological parents before he had been left abandoned on that rainy day.

“I’m turning eleven in two months, Mr Park,” He answered politely, smiling back at the adult whose eyes crinkled in fondness.

“Jisung himself is only eight. It seems like he’s taken a liking towards you,” Mr Park commented, turning towards his wife who smiled back at him and went to talk to the kind worker on duty.

“Hyung is older than Jiji! Jiji wants hyung!” The small boy - Jisung - exclaimed and giggled at the end of his sentence once more, letting go of Mark and running around him chanting _‘Hyung! Jiji has a hyung!’_.

“He really likes you…” Mr Park trailed off and that was when Mark realised that he hadn’t given the nice family his name.

“Mark Lee, Mr Park. But Lee is my last name. I was born in Canada and moved here when I was five and a half,” He supplied, a sad smile coming onto his face but quickly disappearing when Jisung had stopped running around him and looked up at him in curiosity.

“Hyung is from Ca…Ca…Cababa?” The small boy tried repeating, making Mark laugh at his adorableness before correcting him.

“Ca-na-da. I’m from Ca-na-da,” He repeated slowly and saw determination flash in the little boy’s eyes as he tried to say the name of the country where Mark was born.

“Ca…Ca…Camaba!” The boy shouted and looked so proud that Mark didn’t have the heart to correct him.

“Yeah sure, Canada or Camaba. Whatever suits you,” He mumbled and saw the little boy’s eyes light up once more as he smiled. He heard Mr Park call Jisung over and watched as Jisung ran towards his father, babbling on about his _‘cool hyung from Camaba’_. Mark flinched when he felt an arm drape over his shoulders and saw the bright smile of Taeyong.

 

“Today’s the day, huh? Excited Mark Lee?” Taeyong asked him with a smile, making Mark smile as he felt the only warmth that he felt nowadays from Taeyong’s arm around his shoulders.

“I’m a bit nervous actually but…that boy…Jisung…he’s so adorable,” Mark said, eyes wandering over the the small boy who had run towards his mother and was now hugging her leg, still talking about his _‘cool hyung from Camaba’_.

“I feel like they’re a good match for you. Don’t forget about me though,” Taeyong warned him, pinching his cheek as he looked up at the older male and smiled cheekily.

“Are you saying that _you’re_ not a good match for me?” He asked teasingly, explaining that he was joking when he saw guilt appear within Taeyong’s eyes. “I won’t forget you, hyung. I’ll visit the dance studio and the orphanage.”

“Take care, Mark Lee, and don’t be an asshole to little Jisung,” Taeyong said, ruffling Mark’s hair with an affectionate smile despite the younger’s protests.

“Mark! Mr and Mrs Park are leaving now! Grab your clothes so you can go with them!” The worker said and he nodded, rushing into the bedroom that he shared with some of the other kids in the orphanage and stuffing his small backpack with the small amount of clothes that he owned. Coming back out, he saw the sad faces of the younger kids along with Taeyong’s obvious sadness laced one.

“Mark-oppa, are you leaving?” Nancy asked him, pouting slightly when he nodded and patted her hair in comfort. “But who is going to read me that book now?” He heard her whine, causing the other smaller kids to whine as well. Kneeling down to all of their heights and smiling brightly at them, Mark splayed out his arms for a hug that all of the kids rushed to grant him.

“Yes I’m leaving but I will come back to visit! I’m just going to be living with the outside world from now on but I will always be with you guys!” He exclaimed in parting, nerves and excitement filling his being because he had been waiting for this - to be adopted - for nearly five years. “You all have to be patient too, okay? Keep waiting and you’ll be adopted like me one day, alright?” Seeing all of the kids nodding and wiping away tears, Mark kissed each and every one on the forehead, walking towards the family that had adopted him but stopped in front of the one boy who had taken him to meet them.

 

“Hyung, I can’t thank you enough,” He said before Taeyong moved to give him a hug, squeezing tight as if Mark was something that he wouldn’t be able to replace with Mark squeezing back.

“You don’t have the thank me. Just visit me someday okay, Mark?” Taeyong replied and Mark nodded, burying his face in Taeyong’s shoulder in an unspoken promise. _I’ll visit you the most, hyung._ He heard Taeyong whisper to him that he should get going because the Park family were still waiting for him, Jisung laughing adorably int he background. Pulling away and giving Taeyong a high five, Mark barely got three steps towards his new family before the small boy with the brown orbs ran towards him to grab his hand in his smaller one.

“Hyung! Makkeu-hyung! Jisungie will show you home now!” Jisung exclaimed, dragging him out the door as his parents simply laughed at the two and walked outside the door, holding it open for their sons.

“Sorry, Mark. He can’t pronounce your foreign name just yet,” Mrs Park apologised, wincing once the sun hit her eyes. “Do you have a hat, Mark?” Embarrassed, Mark shook his head as Jisung gasped and ran to his father, dragging Mark along the way.

“Papa! Hyung can use my hat!” Jisung shouted as Mr Park laughed at his son and pulled out a faded blue cap that was inside the backpack that Mark had failed to notice earlier. He saw Mr Park place it lightly on his head before fiddling with the straps and holding it out to him.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mark. Welcome to the family,” Mr Park said as Mark warily placed the cap on his head, Jisung squealing in happiness when he did. He heard Mrs Park laugh at him, coming over to pat Mark’s head that was now covered in that faded blue cap.

“Jisung is usually not this loud, he must really like you, Mark,” She explained, smiling at him and drawing out his own smile - the first genuine one that wasn’t brought out because of Lee Taeyong.

“Well, I hope he likes me…I don’t want to make a bad impression on my younger brother,” He admitted, looking down at Jisung who smiled back up at him.

“Jisung loves hyung very much!” The kid shouted, eyes disappearing into an eye smile from how big his actual smile had gotten. Mark found himself smiling fondly back.

 

“Yeah…hyung loves you very much too, Jisung-ah…”

 

_Ah...I'm warm..._


	2. Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t want to spend a day without you, Mark-ah.”
> 
> “I don’t want to spend a day without you either, Taeyong-hyung.”

“Hyung…”

 

Spinning around in his desk chair, Mark was met with the sight of his younger brother frowning at the entrance of his open bedroom door. _Is everything alright?_ Vaguely, he could hear the multiple screams that were being exchanges between his mother and father - the same screams that weren’t harmful but made his little brother’s anxiety go through the roof.

“You want to go to the dance studio with me?” He asked his brother who nodded eagerly at the suggestion. “Go and change into more comfortable clothes. I’ll see if Taeyong-hyung will be there.” Watching Jisung run off to his bedroom, Mark hurriedly searched around his room for the phone that his parents had bought him three months after they had adopted him. With some luck, Mark was able to bring it to the dance studio one day and asked Taeyong for help on how to set it up since he had been so bad at trying to figure it out himself. Pressing on the older’s contact, Mark waited patiently for the older to pick up - which he did with a groan.

“Mark-ah, what’s up?” The older asked and Mark heard a few laughs in the background which made him smile.

“Parents are shouting again and Jisung’s still pretty sensitive to it…are you at the studio?” He asked, nerves rising because _what if Taeyong was out with his friends?_

“I practically live here…like literally, my house is just opposite the studio and my friends and I were planning on going now,” Taeyong replied, making Mark’s smile widen even more as he felt something warm grow in his chest.

“Same room?” He asked, standing up from his desk and closing the page of creative writing techniques that he had previously been reading.

“Same room,” Taeyong answered before they said their goodbyes and hung up, leaving Mark to hurriedly change out of his pyjamas and check up on his little eight year old brother. When he opened the door to Jisung’s bedroom, it was no surprise that the younger was grabbing his backpack and running towards Mark just as the door opened.

“Let’s go?” He asked this brother who smiled and nodded, shyly hiding behind him as Mark informed their parents that they were going to visit Taeyong at the dance studio and clutching at the bottom of Mark’s backpack. Once they were outside, Mark felt Jisung hold his hand and smiled, grateful that the younger would be a constant in his life from now on.

“Will Euijun-hyung be there?” Jisung asked and Mark chuckled, remembering one of the dance instructors at the studio who was practically Taeyong’s older brother since the two had known each other for that long. Euijin specialised in teaching popping and Mark could still remember the look of awe on Jisung’s face when he saw the twenty year old male teaching a class for the first time.

 

“Since when was Euijin-hyung ever outside of the dance studio?” He jokingly asked, smiling when Jisung laughed and began to swing their hands. _This…I’m so grateful that he picked_ me _out of all the kids in the orphanage that day._ Reaching the entrance of the studio, Mark led Jisung through to the elevator and walking towards the last room on the last floor - _their_ practice room ever since Mark had first started visiting Taeyong here. When he opened the door, Mark saw four other males within the room with Taeyong - one of them being Euijin himself.

“Mark-ah! Jisung-ah!” Taeyong exclaimed and broke away from his friends and Euijin, walking towards him to give him a hug that Mark wholeheartedly reciprocated. He felt Jisung’s hand leave his and saw the smaller boy run towards Euijin who happily helped him take off his backpack and warm up before they began to practice popping. “It’s been a while!”

“It’s only been a month since I last saw you, hyung,” Mark replied, pulling away from the hug and seeing Taeyong’s eyes soften at his words.

“Mum and Dad said that you haven’t visited the orphanage in a while…too caught up in school?” The older asked him, gently taking his wrist and leading him towards his three friends who looked quite intimidating. In the back of his mind, Mark revelled in the warmth of Taeyong’s fingers upon his wrist. “You’re entering middle school soon, yeah?”

“Yeah, I’m a bit scared to be honest but Mum said that they’re planning to send me to the same school as you, hyung!” He happily informed the older, smile growing when Taeyong’s eyes widened at the information.

“The same one as mine?”

“Yep! Since I don’t really know a lot of people, Dad suggested that I go to your one even though you’re leaving the year after…you know, with being born just after the cut off,” Mark explained and heard Taeyong hum as he turned towards him, small smile playing on his lips and making Mark feel warmth explode in his chest.

“I’m glad that I’ll have one year with you in school,” Taeyong replied sincerely and Mark turned away in embarrassment since the tone that the older had used made his cheeks turn into a bright red. Hearing Taeyong laugh and feeling Taeyong kiss the top of his head lightly, Mark let the older drag him to his friends who were sitting near the window and laughing in the sunlight. “Oi! Idiots! This is Mark, the kid that I’ve been telling you about!” _He talks about me?_

 

Mark saw all three heads turn towards him, two giving soft smiles with the last one staring at him with wide, bunny-like eyes. There was one with hair dyed in a fiery red, roots remaining black while the one next to him simply smiled wider to show off his dimples. Surprisingly, the one with that resembled a rabbit came forward to greet Mark first.

“Nice to meet you, Mark. I’m Doyoung, the creepy guy with the smile is Jaehyun and the guy who looks like he dipped his head in paint is Ten,” The older said, bowing slightly to Mark and gesturing to the other two when he introduced them.

“I do _not_ look like I dipped my head in paint!” The red haired male - Ten - protested, scoffing and walking to swing his arm over Mark’s shoulders, causing Taeyong to hold Mark’s wrist tighter. “Nice to meet you though!”

“Stop it, Ten. Taeyong’s getting possessive,” The last one - Jaehyun - said, grabbing the back of Ten’s shirt and pulling so that he was off Mark, Taeyong’s grip loosening slightly. “We’re in the same year as Taeyong so we’ll be seeing you next year when you come to our school too!” _At least I’ll know_ some _people…_

“Really?” Mark found himself asking dumbly, Taeyong chuckling next to him.

“What? You thought I couldn’t make friends?” The older asked him teasingly, smirk on his lips as Mark stared at him with a blank expression.

“Hyung, your awkwardness is worse than mine and your face scares everyone away,” He retorted, laughing when he saw Taeyong’s face morph into disbelief and horror as he struggled to form a reply. In the background, he heard Taeyong’s friends laugh as well before the warmth in his chest spread to the rest of his body.

 

~

 

“Why are you here with no friends?”

 

Looking up from where he was sitting behind the school, reading a book in English to prevent himself from forgetting his first language, Mark was surprised to see a tall senior peering down at him with a curious expression. Even though he had been attending this middle school for a few weeks now (three and half to be exact!), he had failed to make many friends and didn’t want to disturb Taeyong’s last year with Doyoung, Ten and Jaehyun. Upon closer inspection, Mark was met with the worried eyes of Taeyong that resided underneath his front fringe.

“I like being alone. Gives me silence,” Mark replied, brain still trying to figure out what to say in Korean since he had spent the past few minutes focusing on building his English. He heard Taeyong hum before the older boy sat beside him, arm moving to wrap around his shoulders and causing Mark to snuggle into the warmth of the older.

“You don’t have to be alone all the time. You have Jisung, myself and the others now,” Taeyong replied before craning his neck to see what Mark was reading. “Stop being independent. You’re too young for that.” Chuckling softly, Mark turned his head to find Taeyong’s face mere inches apart from his own. Swallowing at the nerves that arose with how close the older was, Mark couldn’t help but stare into Taeyong’s eyes and try to figure out why his heart rate had sped up. _Taeyong-hyung…what is happening to me?_

“Mark-ah? You alright?” Taeyong asked him, concern etching its way onto his face and making Mark snap out of his reverie.

“Uh, yeah…I’m good,” He mumbled, hurriedly looking away to hide his cheeks that were heating up in embarrassment and fiddling with the corner of the book in his lap. _What the hell is wrong with me? It’s just Taeyong-hyung! Stop overreacting, Mark!_ “Where’s your gang, hyung?” He asked to divert the topic of their conversation away from himself.

“Ten’s in lunch detention for sleeping in class and I can’t find Jaehyun or Doyoung…those two are probably doing things together.” The older replied bitterly, Mark’s stomach sinking when he registered the information and leaving him confused. “Mark?” He hummed to show that he was listening, not trusting his voice at that moment. “You’ll be fine, right? Like, when I leave to go to high school…you’ll be alright, yeah?”

“Of course, hyung. Why wouldn’t I be?” He asked, turning to look at the older with a confused expression, eyebrows knitted as he witnessed Taeyong avoid his gaze and choosing to bury his face in Mark’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to leave you. I always want to be there for you, like a constant. I don’t want to break my streak,” Taeyong sincerely said, pulling Mark closer to show how much he didn’t want to leave the younger.

“We’ve got our whole lives, hyung. You’re always going to be there,” Mark replied, smiling as he dropped his head on top of Taeyong’s and refusing to meet the older’s eyes.

 

“I don’t want to spend a day without you, Mark-ah.”

“I don’t want to spend a day without you either, Taeyong-hyung.”

 

~

 

Mark Lee didn’t know what he had done to experience this prolonged feeling of hate at himself and this disgusting swirl that took place in his stomach. However, seeing the one person who literally saved his life so happy and carefree, Mark decided that his feelings weren’t of importance right now. The older was currently rolling around in Mark’s bed, hugging one of his pillows as he talked Mark’s ears off about how much he liked his crush.

 

That’s right. Taeyong was talking to Mark about his _crush._

 

His crush who just so happened to be one of Mark’s close friends as well.

 

His crush who just so happened to be someone that Mark admired as well due to his amazing dance skills.

 

His crush who Mark didn’t hate until about ten seconds ago.

 

But most of all, his crush who made Mark confused beyond belief because _why was he so upset?_

 

 _It’s not like I_ like _Taeyong-hyung or anything! I mean, he’s a guy!_

 

“He’s just so…amazing and I actually can’t believe that I like him,” Taeyong rambled, immediately sitting up and looking at Mark who was standing beside his bed with the happiest eyes. “Don’t you think so?” _No, Taeyong-hyung. I don’t think so._

“Ten-hyung is great! Congratulations on finding out your sexuality so quickly too,” Mark replied, trying his best to keep his tone happy. When he saw Taeyong flop back down on the bed, sighing in happiness, he averted his eyes and moved to sit at his desk.

“Speaking of sexuality, you have anyone who might be your first crush?” He heard Taeyong ask, the other now on his side on Mark’s bed and looking at him with curiosity in his orbs. “You can tell me, I won’t judge.” _Judge what? I like girls._

“The girls are really cute but I don’t see any of them as anything more than friends,” He answered, shuffling his notebooks for subjects around just to make it look like he was busy.

“And the guys?” _The guys?_ He heard Taeyong whine at his questioning look. “What? You don’t look at the cute guys?”

“Hyung, I’m not gay like you,” He spat out, sentence coming out harsher than intended. The hurt that flashed over the older’s face made him quickly backtrack. “Hyung, I didn’t mean it like that I-“

“It’s okay, Mark-ah…I understand if you don’t like it. I can always, you know, shut up about it,” Taeyong awkwardly said before standing up and moving to leave the room. “I think I’ll go to the dance studio for a while. It…It was great talking to you about high school.” Mark couldn’t stop himself, no matter how much he wanted to, from standing up and hugging the other form behind. _This is a bad decision, Mark Lee._

“I have nothing against it, hyung. I’m fine with it. Just don’t…don’t go around breaking everyone’s heart with a face like yours,” He said before the other laughed at his words and turned around, ruffling his hair - the act of affection that he did more often now.

“I’d be more worried about _you._ You probably wouldn’t reject anyone just to be nice,” Taeyong said, saying a farewell to Mark before stepping out into the hallway and nearly trampling over Jisung.

“You’re leaving, Taeyong-hyung?” Jisung asked as he stared up at Taeyong’s taller figure with wide eyes, making both Mark and Taeyong chuckle at his adorableness.

“Yeah, see you, Sungie,” Taeyong whispered, briefly patting the smaller boy’s head and going to bid his farewell to Mark’s parents. _So Taeyong-hyung likes Ten-hyung…I know I should be happy but…_

“What’s up, Sung?”

“JIji needs help with math.”

“Okay, I’ll help you.”

 

_But I just can’t bring myself to genuinely be happy for you, Taeyong-hyung…not like this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just realised that a lot of the story will be taking place in Mark's middle school years and yes, I know the grades are like fucked up because I can't math but oh well...
> 
> Hopefully, you'll all like my plot for this story even though this chapter was like 90% backstory whoops.


	3. First Signs of Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why does it seem so different now that I know that Taeyong-hyung likes him?

He didn’t think that it would hurt this much.

 

But then again, no one _told_ him that it would hurt this much.

 

“Just try to be more fluid in your movements, Mark,” Ten said kindly with Mark nodding and taking the criticism in stride. It was only them in the dance studio today since Taeyong had to work on a group project with some guy named Youngho and Doyoung and Jaehyun were nowhere to be found…again.

“Like this, Ten-hyung?” He asked as he tried his best to be more fluid in his movements but saw that it wasn’t really working out.

“Maybe a bit more?” Ten offered, obviously not wanting to hurt his feelings but in reality, Mark felt like Ten didn’t need to try.

“How about a break and then I’ll try again?” He suggested and both of them went to the corner of the practice room together, each grabbing their water bottles along the way. _Why does it seem so different now that I know that Taeyong-hyung likes him?_

“You alright there, Mark?” Ten asked him as he raised his water bottle to sip from it, Mark’s eyes following the movement of the bottle as the older released from his mouth when he was done. “You seem pretty out of it.”

“I just…” Mark trailed off, not knowing how to word his thoughts and falling back into silence.

“Just what? You can tell me, you know. Taeyong doesn’t have to know _everything_.” _He doesn’t?_

 

_If it’s one thing…_

 

_...it shouldn’t matter that much, right?_

 

“Taeyong-hyung likes you and I’m confused,” He blurted out, eyes widening when he realised that he had accidentally spilled Taeyong’s big secret. “Shit, hyung-“

“Oh fucking finally,” Ten sighed out, smiling wide at Mark and ruffling his sweaty hair. The gesture shouldn’t have made him feel disgusted with himself - should have made him feel loved but…for some reason, the gesture made Mark’s stomach drop and twist with feelings that screamed negativity.

“Finally?” He squeaked out, throat drying despite his numerous attempts to prevent it from doing so by drinking from his water bottle.

“Oh yeah, I’ve been _aching_ to know whether he liked me back or not,” Ten said in relief, smile widening and becoming brighter. “It’s been so long since I’ve liked _him_ and Taeyong-hyung is so hard to read-“

“Wait, you like him back?” Mark asked, stomach dropping even further and getting stabbed with each nod that Ten performed. _Why is this hurting me so much? Is it because it’s weird to meet two people separately and then see them like each other?_

 

_What will it be like for me when they get together?_

 

“Yep! I’ve liked him since last year,” Ten admitted, looking bashfully at his feet and Mark could only see the older as cute right now. Ten seemed so… _soft_ and _happy_ that he didn’t have the heart to bring up his negative emotions to him. _Well…Taeyong-hyung won’t be doing anything anytime soon so…_

“You should ask him out,” Mark blurted out, cursing his lack of a brain to mouth filter and saw the rosy blush bloom on Ten’s cheeks as the older laughed shallowly.

“Me? No! I…I can drop hints but I…” Ten swallowed before he shyly looked away from Mark. “I want him to ask _me_ out.”

 

Seeing Ten so hopeful and happy made Mark Lee want to punch the wall in frustration.

 

“I can talk to him if you want,” He suggested, kicking himself mentally yet again when dread filled his being. “Put in a hint or two.”

“Really?” Ten asked him, eyes wide and so _hopeful_ that he didn’t have it in him to call off the offer. _I really don’t want to. I should say no-_

“Of course! You two are my older brothers and I want to see both of you happy!” He exclaimed, genuinely wanting to see the two happy with each other and laughing with each other despite this terrible feeling lurking within his (barely) teenager physique.

“Mark, you don’t know how much that means to me! Thank you so much!” Ten celebrated, hugging his sweaty form and thanking him excessively with a cheery tone and an even happier smile.

“Haha…don’t mention it…” He mumbled, patting the other’s back and nodding along to all of the words that were flowing from the older’s mouth.

 

All the while, confusion and negativity settled in his stomach and Mark didn’t know when it would go away.

 

 _If_ it ever went away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So um I wanted to show that Mark doesn't think of Ten in a bad way in ANY way so that's the whole point of this chapter...although I don't think I actually conveyed that well...


	4. Bad Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I thought you were sick…” No, he lied, hyung.  
> “Yeah…aha…about that…” Taeyong trailed off, avoiding eye contact with the slightly younger male who kept eyeing him cautiously. “I think I’m still pretty sick-“
> 
> “He was going to ask you out and was too nervous so he backed out.”

“Hyung,” Mark called out, giving the other a dead stare from where he was beneath the library table. Taeyong’s high school textbooks were invading Mark’s half of the table but he didn’t really find himself minding since all he had to finish was a science worksheet on relative dating. “Hyung, what are you doing?”

“Shhhh!” The older hissed out, curling more into himself as Mark simply stared back at him. “Ten’s nearby and he wanted to hang out earlier but I backed out and said that I was sick! I got too nervous because I wanted to ask him out…” Mark’s stomach churned at the older’s words as his chest experienced several pangs of pain. _Why does this hurt me so much? It doesn’t even concern me!_

“Hyung…” Mark sighed out, hanging his head and wondering why he even agreed to the older’s request of going to the public library to finish off their homework.

“Oh Mark!” Ten’s voice snapped him out of his self pity party and had pulled out a high pitched noise from the older male who was still underneath the table and probably internally crying because of the germs that were under there. “What are you doing here? And is that…Taeyong’s laptop?”

“Hey, Ten-hyung. Yeah, Taeyong-hyung’s under the table,” He replied, receiving a harsh slap from the older male who was under the table and observed him as he came out from his hiding place.

“Hey Ten!” The other forced out, stiffly sitting back in his seat as Ten eyed him warily.

“I thought you were sick…” _No, he lied, hyung._

“Yeah…aha…about that…” Taeyong trailed off, avoiding eye contact with the slightly younger male who kept eyeing him cautiously. “I think I’m still pretty sick-“

 

“He was going to ask you out and was too nervous so he backed out.”

 

_What the actual fuck, Mark Lee?!?!?!?!?!?!?!_

 

_Why did you say that?!?!?!?!?!?_

 

_Now you’re going to have to go and deal with them actually dating and that’s just going to make you feel like shit-_

 

“What?” Ten asked in confusion, staring at Mark with wide and unbelieving eyes.

“ _What_?!” Taeyong echoed, eyes staring at Mark with betrayal evident within his eyes.

“What?” He asked in reply, innocence surfacing as he hadn’t really thought this far in the plan...the plan that he hadn’t even made up yet.

“How could you _say_ that?!” Taeyong hissed at him, trying to be discreet but failing since he was leaning over the table and trying to intimidate Mark by keeping his face close to his. _Taeyong-hyung’s actually really pretty…wait, what?_

“What?” He asked again, the other’s reply being a weird sound that was between a sigh, a grunt and a whine. _Taeyong-hyung…what the hell are you doing?_

“You wanted to ask me out, Tae?” Ten asked the oldest and Mark saw confusion and a judgemental expression resting on his features when he turned to look.

“Huh? I-“

“He did. But he backed out,” Mark stated, earning a glare from the older and flinching when Taeyong’s cold eyes pierced into his own. _He seems mad…but this is for a good cause…they like each other and even if it makes me feel sick, I want them to be happy because they’re my friends…yeah, Taeyong-hyung is just a friend._ “So I’m here asking you out on his behalf.” _You’ll regret this, Mark Lee…your stomach is already feeling disgusting._

“Mark Lee!” Taeyong screeched, quickly moving to hit Mark on the head but ended up getting told off by the public librarian. “I don’t _care_ if you’re only thirteen! You can’t say that!”

“So will you go on a date with Taeyong-hyung, Ten-hyung?” Mark asked their spectator as Taeyong sat back down, holding his head in his hands as he avoided eye contact from Ten and settled for sending Mark several death glares. “Please say yes.” _So these feelings of me being sick goes away._

“I-“

“Ten, you don’t have to answer. I don’t know what Mark’s going on about,” Taeyong suddenly said, packing up his things and standing up to exit the library. Mark hastily packed his stationary as well since he _knew_ that his mother would get mad at him if he was in the library alone without the older. When he was halfway through zipping his bag closed, he saw Taeyong sling his backpack over his shoulder and patiently wait for Mark to finish, still avoiding eye contact with Ten. Nodding at Taeyong to show that he was ready to go, both Taeyong and Mark were surprised when Ten grabbed the oldest’s wrist, grip firm but also gentle. Somewhere within him, ugly flames of anger overtook his being but Mark kept the flames at bay, knowing that it would only serve to be more a problem if he were to voice his thoughts. _Please don’t touch Taeyong-hyung like that, Ten-hyung._

 

“I was going to say yes,” Ten whispered, voice small and hesitant as if his words were _illegal_ or something. Seeing Taeyong’s eyes widen with surprise was quite comical, the older male’s cheeks turning identical shades of pink and gradually getting deeper to a bright crimson. “I…I want to go on a date with you, Taeyong-hyung.” _But I don’t want you guys to-_

 

 _Stop it Mark Lee, it’s_ stupid _to think that you have some kind of_ hold _over Taeyong-hyung…he’s just a friend to you._

 

 _You’re not_ like _him._

 

 _You_ don’t _like him_

 

“R-Really?” Taeyong squeaked out, making Mark want to laugh since the older’s confident aura was diminished to a shy and insecure type of demeanour.

“Yes, _really_ , Taeyong,” Ten exasperated, airy laugh coming out after as he shook his head, Mark’s sick feeling spreading from his stomach to his fingers and toes.

“O-Okay…I’ll text you the details later,” Taeyong replied, smiling softly at the other before he nodded his head towards him. Mark’s heart sunk at the action when he realised that the smile wasn’t being directed at _him_ unlike before.

 

Before Taeyong went ahead and liked Ten, leaving Mark in his dust as he went on with life despite saying that he wanted to be a constant…in Mark’s life, at least.

 

“I have to take Mark back home or else his mum’ll flip,” Taeyong informed the other who glanced at him, as if he _just_ realised that Mark was there, and nodded in understanding.

“Yeah…I’ll send you a text later…” Ten trailed off, biting his lower lip but restraining himself from saying anything else. Weirdly, Mark couldn’t tear his gaze away from the action, instead observing the action intently and taking in how the older male’s lip slowly turned a brighter shade of red. “See you later, Taeyong-hyung…see you, Mark.” Mark noticed Ten reluctantly drop his hand and scurry out of the library exit, Taeyong standing there frozen and looking after the other’s retreating figure.

“You good, hyung?” He asked the older, lightly tapping his shoulder and making Taeyong flinch at the sudden contact.

“Yeah…I’m good…” Taeyong replied mindlessly before looking down at his wrist and smiling. “I feel really good…”

“That’s good…I guess…” He mumbled, confused as to why Ten holding his wrist would be such a shock to him. _Is that what happens when you like someone?_

“Come on, let’s get you home,” Taeyong stated, lightly grabbing Mark’s own wrist as warmth flooded into his veins once more - familiarity being the only thing that was keeping him calm and composed.

 

Hours later, Mark found himself lying on his back in his bed with Jisung curled up to his side with his head near his belly button, sleeping soundly and drooling on his shirt. As he stared up at the ceiling, he brought his own wrist up and noticed how _cold_ it was without Taeyong’s warm hand encasing it.

 

 _I’m not_ like _him._

 

 _I_ don’t _like him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully the new chapter wasn't too bad, I'll try to make the following chapters more interesting - I promise.


	5. Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well…uh…all of my friends graduated last year so if you still want to be friends…then…”

“No one fucking wants you here!”

 

Running even more down the hallway that was crowded with students, Mark Lee cursed himself inwardly for accidentally bumping into the seniors that hated him. _Fucking hell, if only I was looking as to where I was going instead of staring at the ground-_

“Get back here so I can teach you to not mess with us!” _No thank you!_ Quickly turning a corner and exiting the building, Mark realised that he was screwed when he had run out onto the open field and tripped over a stray can of coca cola. Scrambling to get back on his feet, he felt someone pull him from the collar of his shirt and avoided the older’s eyes since he didn’t want to anger the other even more.

“Fucking bitch, thinking that people actually want you around,” the senior spat out, throwing him on the ground and making Mark groan in pain once he felt a blow to his stomach. “Your actual parents didn’t want you so what makes you think that your adopted ones do?” _You don’t know me. Mum wants me. Dad wants me. Jisung wants me. Taeyong-hyung wants me._

“You don’t know anything,” He gasped out, enduring more hits to his limbs and biting his lip to prevent any noises from escaping. _If I don’t let out any sound, they won’t be satisfied…but then again, why should I make them satisfied?_

“ _You don’t know anything_ ,” The older mimicked, his entourage of about two people snickering at his imitation of Mark’s higher voice. “Bullshit, we can all tell that no one fucking wants you.”

 

“We get that you’re scared of being left behind by your freaking fan club but don’t you think that this fight is a little unfair?”

 

Mark didn’t even try to move when he heard the boyish voice, silently thanking the stranger as he cradled his stomach that blared with pain. _It hurts…but not as much as it did when Taeyong-hyung got together with Ten-hyung…_

“And what does a first year like you have to do with seniors like us?” The senior asked, turning his attention away from Mark who silently cheered and then groaned in pain.

“Good question with an even better answer. Mr Park is already on his way,” The boyish voice - the first year - explained and Mark could imagine a cheeky grin on the face of the younger.

“Shit. Clear out.” He heard the third year order the other two, their footsteps leading back towards the building as a faded pair of sneakers came into his view.

“You dead yet?” The first year asked, nudging Mark’s forehead with his dirty shoe but apologising as soon as he realised that Mark was in fact breathing. “Do you need to go to the nurse’s office?”

“Nah, I think I’m fine,” He answered, hauling himself up to a sitting position and cradling his head as he saw the world spin. “Is Mr Park actually coming?”

“Even you believed that?!” The first year exclaimed, dropping down to crouch in front of him and grinning cheekily, just as he imagined. Now that he could actually see the first year, Mark noticed the way that the sun brightened up the other’s tanned skin and the mischievous glint in the younger’s eyes. “You’ve got to hand me an award for that, then!”

“So he’s not…coming?” He asked for clarification and smiled in relief when the younger nodded. _He doesn’t really seem like a threat…_

 

“Nope!” The younger exclaimed and looked so happy that Mark was reminded of Jisung whenever Taeyong cooked his younger brother his favourite dish.

“Thanks by the way,” He said, looking directly into the other’s eyes to show his sincerity. “I probably would’ve actually died if you hadn’t intervened.”

“It was the least I could do,” The other replied, easily shrugging his shoulders as if stopping bullies was his every day job. “Besides, I’ve always wanted to befriend someone…no one really likes me in my grade because of my mouth.”

“Your…mouth?” Mark questioned, not really understanding this new Korean slang all that well. He saw the other scoff before he rolled his eyes.

“ _Duh_ , my mouth. I say the truth and they get offended.” Mark furrowed his eyebrows and continued to stare at the other. _Why would someone get offended by the truth?_ “It’s not my fault they can’t handle what I honestly think!”

“Well…uh…all of my friends graduated last year so if you still want to be friends…then…” Mark trailed off not knowing how he should word his thoughts exactly.

“Sure, friend!” The younger shouted happily, smile surfacing and making Mark smile slightly as well. “I’m Lee Donghyuck and I want to be your friend!”

“Mark Lee…but Lee is my last name,” He replied, smiling even more when the other - Donghyuck - took his hand and began to shake it.

“Nice to meet you, Mark Lee!” Donghyuck finalised, letting go of his hand and standing up, holding out his hand to help Mark stand up at well.

“Yeah, nice to meet you too, Lee Donghyuck,” He said in reply, casually using the other’s hand as leverage to stand up.

“So what year are you in?” He heard Donghyuck ask him once they were walking back to the building, Mark hummed before actually answering.

 

“Second. You’re first, right?” He asked and Donghyuck nodded before stopping in his tracks.

“Wait. Second?!” Donghyuck exclaimed and Mark nodded slowly, not knowing why the other was so shocked. “Does this mean I have to call you ‘hyung’?”

“Do whatever you want, Donghyuck,” he replied easily, not really caring about the Korean honorific. “I don’t mind.”

“Okay, asshole,” Donghyuck said in response and Mark looked at him in confusion. “What? You said to do whatever I wanted.” Sighing, Mark decided that he was probably signing himself up for a long term headache. _But I do need people to turn to other than Mum, Dad, Jisung and Taeyong-hyung. I mean sure, there’s Ten-hyung but he’s part of the problem so maybe…maybe, Donghyuck would be able to help me sort my thoughts out._ Once they were inside the building that Mark had just ran out of, Donghyuck roughly hit him with his shoulder and made Mark look at him.

“I think I like boys too so if you’re not comfortable with that, I’ll leave,” the younger confessed casually, as if he were talking about the weather and not his sexuality. _How does he know? Taeyong-hyung didn’t know until high school…_

“Uh…it’s fine but why did you tell me now?” Mark questioned, genuinely wanting to know since your sexuality was not something that was usually included in a self introduction….typically.

“I don’t know…you seem like the type to have a sexuality crisis so I’m always here to help, you know,” Donghyuck answered, shrugging his shoulder once more before heading off to his classroom. “I’ll catch you later, Mark Lee!”

“Yeah…see you…” Mark mumbled, awkwardly waving back as Donghyuck entered his classroom and sat next to some kid who’s eyes transformed into crescent moons when he smiled. _Helping me with a sexuality crisis, huh?_

 

_I don’t think that’ll be necessary, Lee Donghyuck. All of the sick feelings will disappear soon since Taeyong-hyung is dating Ten-hung now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE 50 KUDOS! 
> 
> Seriously, I worked so hard on this chapter because we have FINALLY reached 50 kudos on this story which (in my mind) means that it's being enjoyed by readers and I wanted to show why Mark and Donghyuck are best friends.


	6. Sort Of Stuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Uh…Mark-ah…can you help me?” Taeyong asked, voice coming out muffled due to his head being pushed up against jumpers. “I’m sort of stuck.”
> 
> “I don’t think ‘sort of’ does this whole thing justice,” Mark replied, standing up and walking closer to help free the older. “Uh…what do I do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A miracle happened!! (jks, I just got inspired by something to write this chapter today so here it is!)

“I…I don’t know what to wear!”

 

Mark simply stared at the older who was moving around his room as Mark played with Taeyong’s pillows. Although the sight of Taeyong worrying over what he should wear to his date with Ten, Mark couldn’t help but acknowledge the swirls and stabs that lived in his stomach. _These feelings will go away soon and you won’t have to worry about them ever again._ He observed Taeyong reach into his cupboard (presumably grabbing something that was stuck at the very back) and chuckled when he saw the struggle that the older had getting out, his legs were bent and his hips were pushed back since almost all of Taeyong’s torso was stuck in the cupboard.

“Uh…Mark-ah…can you help me?” Taeyong asked, voice coming out muffled due to his head being pushed up against jumpers. “I’m sort of stuck.”

“I don’t think ‘sort of’ does this whole thing justice,” Mark replied, standing up and walking closer to help free the older. “Uh…what do I do?”

“Pull me out!” Taeyong shouted, body moving along with his words to show how desperate he was to get out. Mark heard him make a small noise in pain when his knees each other. “Just…grab my belt or something…” _His belt?_ Looking down from what Mark could see of the older’s back to his belt, he noticed how the fabric of Taeyong’s jeans seemed to be fading in colour, especially near his thighs. _Snap out of it, Mark. You know, Yeri’s really nice. Maybe you should go and talk to her after this. I’m pretty sure Donghyuck would laugh at me if I told him that I caught myself staring at my older friend’s ass._

“Hang on, hyung,” He reassured the older and gently placed his fingers on Taeyong’s belt, one hand on either side of the older’s body, and began to pull backwards. _Come on! You’re not fat, hyung!_ “What do you even have in there that got you stuck?!”

“Some things that my mum wants to donate to the orphanage! It’s in a huge box and I kind of forgot that the box is heavy so yeah…I’m stuck…” Taeyong replied as Mark kept trying to pull him out, not wanting the other to stay in the cupboard forever. _Just a little bit more-_

 

Letting out a shrill scream, Mark felt his back harshly come into contact with the floor as something heavy landed on top of him. On instinct, his eyes had closed and opening them seemed to be such a challenging task at that one moment. He heard several groans that might have included his own, gradually feeling the object on top of him move.

“Mark! Mark, are you okay?!” He heard Taeyong’s panicked voice invade his ears as he stayed still due to the dull throbbing in the back of his head. “Mark! Say something! Do anything! I can’t…I can’t lose you like this!” _What a drama queen._

“Calm down, hyung,” He reassured the other, opening his eyes and seeing Taeyong’s own that was clouded with a mixture of fear, relief and concern. “I’m fine.”

“You scared me, Mark-ah…” Taeyong whispered lowly, lowering his head until his forehead landed against Mark’s own. “Don’t do that.”

“I’m sorry, hyung,” He replied, trying not to think about how the close proximity of the older made his breath come out shorter as if his heart was being restricted (although, he was genuinely confused since he was sure his heart had only beat this fast when he was scared). “I’ll be more careful.”

“Good,” Taeyong whispered after a few heartbeats, smiling brightly at him before moving to stand up. Pushing himself off the ground, Mark glanced at Taeyong’s wardrobe and saw the pastel sky blue button up shirt peeking out from the rest of the darker coloured clothes.

“What’s the theme for your date?” He asked the other and swallowed down what felt like rising bile and regret. He heard Taeyong scoff at him before the older went to sift through his seemingly endless amount of clothes for an outfit yet again.

“Casual, I guess…we’re just going to eat at a restaurant,” Taeyong replied and Mark nodded to cover up the look of discomfort that was threatening to surface.

“How about the blue shirt?” He suggested, walking over and picking the button up to hold up against Taeyong’s clothed form. He had thought previously that contact with the older was natural and not meant to have any effects on his body considering how close they were but…for some reason…as Mark’s knuckles and fingertips brushed the shirt that Taeyong was wearing…Mark couldn’t think of anything but the older.

 

 _Since when did I have to concerned about_ touching _Taeyong-hyung?_

 

“This one?” Taeyong asked, gently taking the hanger that hung in his hands and turning around to face his mirror. “Really?”

“I think it looks good on you,” Mark replied, standing to the side so that he could observe Taeyong’s reflection and enable the older to make eye contact with him through the mirror if he wanted to. “Then wear the black jeans you’ve got and there’s your outfit.” _If Ten-hyung didn’t already like you, he would have definitely liked you with the smart casual look…I mean, I like the look on you._

“I’ll try it out,” Taeyong decided, quickly grabbing the clothes and then shoving Mark out of the room so he could get changed without ‘Mark’s distracting presence’. Patiently waiting outside, Mark tried to calm his nerves and his heart to no avail. He nearly screamed when Taeyong opened the door for there Taeyong was standing in all of his glory, skinny jeans that resembled the night with a half tucked in sky blue button up shirt accompanied with a shy smile. “Do I look good?”

“Yeah,” Mark answered absentmindedly, not being able to restrain his young teenage eyes from roaming over the other’s lean figure and noticed the way that the shirt fell over Taeyong’s shoulder, the way the jeans hugged his thighs and the way-

 

_Mark Lee, stop. He pretty much has a boyfriend and plus, you’re straight. Talk to Yeri after this if you’re so unsure about how straight you are._

 

“Really?” _You look better than good. Ethereal, even._

“Yeah.” _What happened to your word bank, Mark Lee?_

“Thanks Mark,” Taeyong said genuinely, moving closer to give Mark a hug and to kiss his cheek lightly in appreciation. Mark felt his face heat up along with his general body temperature due to embarrassment.

“Hyung,” He whined, not really knowing how else to react to the situation. “I’m not five!”

“I know but you’ll always be someone that I can openly hug and kiss, no matter what!” Taeyong exclaimed, giggling before showering Mark with more kisses on his cheeks and restraining him from moving with his hug.

“Hyung!” He whined even more, not liking the way that his heart beat faster and making the waves of disgust rise in his stomach. “You’ll be late for your date with Ten-hyung!” The words felt like poison but he said them anyway, slightly disappointed when Taeyong actually pulled away in realisation.

“And I still need to pick him up!” Taeyong gasped out, hurriedly moving around his abandoned house due to his parents being overseas for a project with the dance company. “Come on, I’ll drop you off home.”

“But that’s in the opposite direction to Ten-hyung’s place!” Mark protested, worried that the older would end up being late and that Ten would end up being annoyed or even sad. _I don’t want them to have less time together because of me._

“And you’re only fourteen which means that you can’t take public transport alone,” Taeyong replied, making Mark roll his eyes.

“Heaps of people my age do-“

“But your mum strictly told me ‘Don’t let Mark take public transport alone until he’s in high school!’” Taeyong retaliated, raising his voice higher to be a poor imitation of Mark’s mum. “I’m not thrilled about it either but I’d rather that you be safe and not mauled by lions or something.”

“We’re in the _city_ ,” He pointed out, seeing how stressed the other was getting due to the tight time frame in which he had to drop Mark off _and_ go to pick up Ten.

“You’re right. If anything, _you’re_ more like a lion than others,” Taeyong stated randomly, opening the door for them once they both had their shoes on and locking it. Waiting for the other as he turned the key, Mark saw something akin to realisation appear in Taeyong’s eyes when they locked gazes again in the setting sun. “Actually, you’re more like a cub. A baby lion.”

“A baby lion?” He questioned once Taeyong had walked ahead to the bus stop, pulling out his phone to check when the next bus that would bring them to Mark’s place (it was only a street away but both of them were lazy).

“Yeah, mind if I call you that?” Taeyong asked, glancing at Mark who merely shook his head, heart and mind thriving at the idea that Taeyong had given _him, Mark Lee,_ a _nickname_. “It suits you.”

“Thank you?” Mark questioned, leaving Taeyong to chuckle at him and reach out to ruffle his hair.

“You’re welcome,” Taeyong replied, nudging Mark when the bus had turned the corner and stopped in front of them.

 

_Taeyong-hyung…why won’t my stomach stop swirling in discomfort when I’m around you?_


	7. Realisations?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But don’t you like…I don’t know…” Donghyuck started, taking a moment to think briefly before coming to terms with what he wanted to say. “…have a life? Interests? Things that make you forget about this crappy place?”

“So like, why don’t you have any friends in your grade?”

 

Looking up from the worksheet that he was currently filling out, Mark simply looked at the other with curiosity filling his facial features since he knew that the other hated the school library.

“What do you mean?” He asked, unsure as to whether or not the other was being serious. After all, he had friends…he just preferred not to hang out with them.

“You know what I mean, Mark-hyung,” Donghyuck stated, slipping into the seat opposite him and peering over at the worksheet on the table. “And really? Financial maths? Don’t you do that like…next year?”

“Mr Kim wants me to be ahead…” He mumbled, ignoring the younger’s initial question and hurried moving his calculator to hide his miscalculations.

“But don’t you like…I don’t know…” Donghyuck started, taking a moment to think briefly before coming to terms with what he wanted to say. “…have a life? Interests? Things that make you forget about this crappy place?”

 

_Do I have a life with interests and things that make me forget about school?_

 

_The only times where that happens is when I dance or rap or spend time with Taeyong-hyung…_

 

“I do…have things that make me forget about this…crappy place…” He answered, vaguely remembering that Taeyong was going to cook him something for dinner later today. _He_ was _going to cook, right?_

“Which is…?” _Things that Taeyong-hyung introduced to me._ “Come on, you just said that you had something!”

“I…rap. I rap and sometimes I dance at this dance studio where all of my older friends hang out,” He admitted softly, gaze trained at the worksheet instead of at the boy in front of him.

“And behold, Mark Lee has a life outside of school.” He heard Donghyuck comment before he leaned forward on the table to rest his chin on his hand. “Tell me about your older friends, they seem cool.”

“They’re actually not that cool…” He started, remembering all of the stupid pictures that he had on his phone of Ten and Jaehyun. “One of them has really cute dimples but he’s actually a bit of a pervert.”

“Sounds like every other guy but okay.”

“And another one has a really big mouth.”

“So he talks a lot?” Mark found himself chuckling at the assumption that the younger had made.

“No, he _literally_ has a big mouth,” He reasoned and laughed even more at Donghyuck’s mouth dropping open at that.

“No way,” the younger said out in response, making Mark laugh even more.

“Yes way. I also have a number for a friend,” He informed the other who gave him a confused look. “His nickname is ‘Ten’ and he’s a really good dancer! He sings too!”

“He sings?” Donghyuck asked and Mark nodded along, making a mental note to introduce the younger to him since the younger loved singing above anything else. “Anyone else?”

 

_Taeyong-hyung._

 

“Yeah…he’s…he’s the one who found me and took me to the orphanage when I was five,” he said sadly, remembering the cold that invaded his bones and the rain that drenched his clothes. “He’s…amazing. I wouldn’t be here without him…”

“He sounds responsible,” the younger replied, face scrunching up in disgust since Mark knew that Donghyuck didn’t really live the responsible life.

“Not really…he got himself stuck in his cupboard a few weeks ago,” Mark replied and Donghyuck snorted at the older’s stupidity.

“You _have_ to introduce me to him! I want to meet all of them!” Mark simply laughed in response to Donghyuck’s claims and nodded his head to confirm it.

“Alright! Taeyong-hyung will probably cook for us too!”

“Sweet! More friends!”

 

~

 

“Hey, Mark! What do you think of this?” Taeyong asked him, scooping out some of the food that was in the pan for him to taste. “Careful, it’s hot.” Wandering into the kitchen from the living room, Mark hurriedly blew on the food on the spoon to prevent it from burning his tongue. Once he had the food in his mouth, his mind was blown with the perfect combination of flavours that made the dish in progress addicting.

“It’s so good, hyung!” He exclaimed, staring at Taeyong with wide eyes as the older laughed.

“Really? My mum and dad are always out so I never really know if my stuff is good…”

“It’s good! It’s good!”

“Alright, thanks Mark-ah. We’ll be having dinner soon,” Taeyong said, flashing him a smile and proceeding to take the pan off the stove to ensure that their food didn’t burn. “How’s your homework coming along?”

“I’m getting it done,” Mark replied, watching as Taeyong pulled out two plates and began to place the dish onto each place. He heard Taeyong hum while the older thought of what to say.

“And everything else?”

“I’m doing okay.” Mark watched as Taeyong placed the plate down on the kitchen counter and turned to him, eyes suddenly serious.

 

“Mark…I know about the bruises on your stomach and lower back,” Taeyong informed him, taking a step closer to him and putting Mark’s hands in his own. “Ten told me when he saw it. We’re worried, Mark…”

“Hyung, it’s fine really! I’m really doing fine!” Mark could tell that Taeyong was not buying any of his excuses. _Please don’t come any closer or my stomach will actually make me throw up._

“You don’t have to pretend that everything is fine, Mark,” Taeyong whispered to him, eyes desperate for something - _anything_ \- that Mark would give him.

“Hyung…I…” _I feel like vomiting when I see you with Ten-hyung…_ “I’m hungry.” He saw Taeyong sigh comically, the older shaking his head slightly before he let go of Mark’s hands and leaving them to grow cold once more.

“I don’t know what I was expecting…sorry, Mark,” Taeyong apologised, grabbing the plates after and walking towards the dining table that barely ever had all of Taeyong’s family present. “Come on, let’s eat.”

“Yeah, okay,” He mumbled, sitting opposite Taeyong who smiled softly at him before they both began to eat their meal. “Thanks for cooking my dinner, hyung.”

“Anything for you, Mark,” Taeyong replied, sending him a smile before shoving some of his cooking into his mouth. “Damn, this is good!” Mark chuckled at him, mentally saving Taeyong’s proud face in his mind for when he felt down.

“Yeah, I told you so,” He replied, continuing to eat his dinner as he laughed and threw jokes around with Taeyong. It was only a short while but for once, Mark felt as if he didn’t need to deny anything and that maybe…just maybe…

 

_Maybe Taeyong-hyung is more than just a close friend to me…_


	8. Heart Go Swoooooooosh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It…It made my heart go…” Mark waited as Jisung thought about how to phrase his next sentence, the younger pulling back to extend his arms above his head with his eyes brightening. “Swoooooooosh!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was lowkey inspired by someone's comment a while ago on this story where they were like 'markhyuck meeting made my heart go swooooosh' so yeah thanks for giving me the inspiration for this chapter XD

“Hyung. Mark-hyung.”

 

Mark turned around in his desk chair to see Jisung at his bedroom door holding the bottom of his shirt as he looked a bit scared.

 

“What’s wrong, Sungie?” He asked the younger as he held out his arms, Jisung quickly running to give him a hug.

“I…I saw some kids today at school…” Jisung mumbled as Mark carefully got out of his chair and led both of them to the bed. “This one boy in my class came up to me and gave me flowers.”

“Really?” Mark asked the younger, clearly surprised since he was only around eleven and just _since when did kids who were_ eleven _give each other flowers?_ He felt Jisung nod from where the younger’s head was pressed up against his side.

“It…It made my heart go…” Mark waited as Jisung thought about how to phrase his next sentence, the younger pulling back to extend his arms above his head with his eyes brightening. “ _Swoooooooosh_!” Chuckling at the adorableness of his younger brother, Mark wrapped his arms around Jisung when his eyes dimmed.

“Isn’t that a good thing, Jiji?” He asked his brother who shook his head and buried his head against his side once more.

“He did it in front of everyone in the class and it made me feel sick,” Jisung mumbled, looking up at Mark who stared down at his brother in curiosity. “Really _really_ sick.”

“How sick?” _Jisung…don’t tell me…_

“Like I needed to puke,” Jisung stated, face twisting into disgust as he remembered the feeling and making alarm bells resound in Mark’s head. _Taeyong-hyung. I always feel like vomiting around Taeyong-hyung…_

“Did you?” _Please tell me that you didn’t._ He saw Jisung shake his head.

“But when I ignored everyone in the class who laughed at him, my heart went _swoooooooosh_ even more!” Jisung exclaimed, arms extending to emphasise his heart’s action again. “And he handed me the flowers and I thought that there was something wrong with me since my heart didn’t stop beating fast...” _Taeyong-hyung. When he’s around I’m sure my heart malfunctions or something since it beats super fast…_  
“How fast?”

“Like when I have a nightmare fast.” _Jisung…no…no, this can’t be happening to me…or you…everything right now is pointing towards the possibility of me liking-_ “Hyung…is something wrong with me? Because I really really like that boy and I’d feel bad if there was something wrong with me…” _No. Never._ Taking a deep breath, Mark pulled his younger brother close as his heart hammered in his chest at the realisation and buried his nose in Jisung’s hair.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Jisung. You just like that boy in your class,” He explained in a gentle voice, his mind going back to all of the times where he had _thought_ that he was sick around Taeyong. _No…I…I’m straight…but what Jisung described right now…that’s_ me _when I’m around_ Taeyong-hyung.

“Is that a bad thing, hyung?” _No. Never._

“Does he make you happy?” He asked instead, looking down seriously at Jisung who nodded since he didn’t know what else to do with his eleven years of experience at being alive. “Then it’s not a bad thing.” _It’ll never be a bad thing, Jisung. Yeah…liking Taeyong-hyung doesn’t_ seem _like a bad thing until you take into account the fact that he’s been dating Ten-hyung for five months._

“So it’s a good thing?” Jisung asked, tilting his head in a cute way as Mark smiled softly at him.

“It’s a very good thing, Jisungie,” He answered, feeling his heart beat even faster at his own words since he _knew_ that he was really just answering himself. _Taeyong-hyung…I think I_ might _like you…at least that’s what Jisung’s story is telling me._

 

“Really, hyung?”

“Really, Jisung.”

 

_But seriously, I’m still straight, right?_

 

~

 

“How do you know you’re gay?”

“Bro, what the fuck?”

 

Mark simply stared at his best friend who blinked in response and was probably doubting the words that had come out of his mouth.

 

“I asked ‘How do you know you’re gay?’ and now you have to answer,” He clarified, holding his stare as his neck became slightly stiff from having to look down at his best friend.

“And my answer was ‘Bro, what the fuck?’ so now you owe me an explanation,” Donghyuck replied, no bite to his words and revealing the obvious curiosity that he held. “Seriously, Mark-hyung, where did this come from?”

“I think there might be a small chance that I like boys,” Mark explained as quick as he could, not wanting anyone in the school to overhear their conversation (which was ridiculous since they were in the unused music room near the back of the school). “Well… _a_ boy.” _Taeyong-hyung is becoming too much to be around…I just can’t look at him in the eye when I know that he’s with Ten-hyung - which is fine!_

“Oh?” Donghyuck asked, eyebrows raising as a smirk surfaced on his lips. “Is this the great sexuality crisis that I had predicted when we first met?” Resisting the urge to hit the other, Mark sighed to release some of his frustrations.

“No. There is no sexuality crisis here, Donghyuck. I just need you to answer my question,” Mark pleaded, hearing the desperate tone in his voice and cringing since he _knew_ that he still liked girls…well, some girls. _I’m still like 99% straight!_ “Please,” He added for good measure as Donghyuck hummed in thought.

“If you want to really know, just spend some more time with the boy you think you like,” Donghyuck offered, making Mark’s face contort into confusion. “You look constipated, please stop.”

“What kind of an answer is that?!” He exclaimed, Donghyuck chuckling at his reaction with a glint of mischief in his eyes.

“Have fun with your sexuality crisis, hyung!” The younger shouted, rushing out of the room and disappearing to god knows where, leaving Mark to stand alone in the unused music room and entertain his thoughts.

 

_Spend time with Taeyong-hyung again? Easier said than done when I’m pretty sure that I’m still straight._

 

_But then again, I don’t think straight guys has a reaction that an eleven year old kid would have around another guy. Maybe I’ll keep my distance for now…_

 

~

 

“Do you think Mark’s avoiding me?” Taeyong asked his boyfriend when he entered the other’s bedroom, textbooks and DVDs were scattered everywhere and posed as a trip hazard to him. _And when will you clean your room?_

“Tae, he _adores_ you. What makes you think he’s avoiding you?” Ten asked in reply, sitting up from where he was lying on his bed and patting the space next to him.

“I don’t know…he just…” Taeyong ran a hand through his hair as he sat next to the younger, laying his head on Ten’s shoulder shortly after. “I feel like he’s drifting away a bit.” He heard Ten hum in thought.

“Mark will come around, Taeyong. Maybe he just has a lot on his mind,” Ten reassured the other who sighed and looked up at him with sad eyes.

“But what if he doesn’t? I don’t think I’d be able to-“

“Live without him. Yeah, I know and I wouldn’t be able to do that, either,” Ten cut him off, smiling softly at the end and leaning closer to Taeyong. “That kid doesn’t know how precious he is to all of us.”

“He really doesn’t, does he?” Taeyong replied, chuckling at the end with Ten as he leaned closer as well, their lips were _so close_ to touching.

“Yeah…” Ten answered airily, brushing his lips against Taeyong’s and making Taeyong’s eyes fall shut. “He doesn’t.”

“Fuck…kiss me,” Taeyong whispered as he pressed his lips against Ten’s even more, heart hammering against his chest as he climbed into the younger’s lap with his hands tangling themselves in the younger’s hair. _I know I wanted this and it’s been a few months but…_

 

 _…it feels like_ something _is missing._


	9. I Know You Can Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s there to think about?” Taeyong asked him, hand automatically reaching out for the younger’s just to intertwine their fingers because…
> 
> Wait, why do I want to do that again?

“Are you absolutely positively sure about this?” Mark asked the younger tanned male who nodded enthusiastically and stared up at him with hopeful eyes. “Why do I feel like I’m going to regret this three seconds after it happens?” He mumbled to himself as he led the other into the dance studio that currently had his older friends inside.

“Shut up, Mark Lee, I just want friends,” Donghyuck stated as Mark opened the door to the usual practice room, revealing everyone except for the one male that he had wanted to see the most. _Well…I have been keeping my distance so…_

“Mark-ah!” Ten screamed as he ran towards him, arms coming round Mark’s middle to hug him tightly. “You haven’t stopped by in a while!” _Because I’ve been trying to not get too close to Taeyong-hyung._ “How’s Jisungie?”

“Sung’s alright. He’s at home with some friends,” He answered as Jaehyun and Doyoung came up to join them, Doyoung patting his head as Jaehyun pinched his cheek.

“It’s great to have you stop by after such a long time. Tae really missed you, you know!” Jaehyun exclaimed, making Mark look at him in surprise. _Taeyong-hyung missed…_ me _?_ “Don’t give me that look. You know how much he cares for you.”

“He was seriously experiencing withdrawal symptoms, Mark,” Doyoung supplied, smiling down at him fondly as Ten hugged him tighter.

“And now you’re here with us! We all missed you so much!” He heard Ten shout as he protested against their actions, spluttering that he had someone that he wanted them to meet. Ten was the first to hear him, immediately releasing him as his eyes landed on Donghyuck who was staring in awe from behind Mark’s form. _Thank god…I can breathe again…_

“Mark…is there something you’re not telling us?” Jaehyun asked him seriously, not a trace of humour within his face after he had glanced at Donghyuck.

“Does Tae know?” Doyoung asked him, curiosity in his irises as Mark only became more confused.

“Huh? I just want to introduce you guys to my friend! Probably the only one around my age that I hang out with outside of classes!” He exclaimed as the three older males in front of him gave him a judgemental stare, causing Mark to get more frustrated at the misunderstanding.

“You can tell us the secret. We won’t let Tae know,” Ten whispered loudly as Jaehyun and Doyoung nodded seriously from beside him. Letting out a loud groan, Mark turned and grabbed Donghyuck’s arm to leave when the door unexpectedly opened and he found himself bumping straight into someone else’s chest.

 

“Mark-ah?”

 

_WHAT THE FUCK IS TAEYONG-HYUNG DOING HERE?!_

 

“My parents own the place…you’ve known that for years,” Taeyong stated flatly as Mark covered his mouth in shock, stomach swirling once more as his heart hammered in his chest. “Who’s this?” He heard Taeyong ask as the older observed Donghyuck and then Mark’s hand that was currently gripping the younger male’s arm. Quickly and out of panic, Mark let his hand fall to his side and wished that he didn’t see the slight relief that flashed across Taeyong’s face.

“A friend of mine that wanted to meet you guys,” He explained, sighing and stepping back to look at the three older males behind him. “Everyone, this is Lee Donghyuck. Probably the only one of my friends that I would hang out with voluntarily.”

“So he’s your _only_ friend,” Ten pointed out, making Mark look away in embarrassment as he chuckled. “Don’t worry, Mark! There’s nothing to worry about! We get that you’re picky!”

“Ten, shut _up_ ,” Doyoung hissed at the other and Mark appreciated when Ten let out a soft groan due to Doyoung stepping on his foot. “The baby’s getting pissed.”

“I am _not_ a baby! I’m just younger than all of you!” He protested as Jaehyun chuckled before glancing at Taeyong who had remained silent.

“That just means that you’re the baby, hyung,” Donghyuck cut in and Mark turned to the younger in surprise, ignoring the intense gaze that Taeyong was giving him.

“You too?! Why does everyone love ganging up on me?!” He complained before Taeyong stepped forward, stopping in front of Donghyuck who looked slightly intimidated. _Well…that’s to be expected. Taeyong-hyung is super good looking…_

“It’s nice to meet you, Donghyuck. I’m Taeyong, the pervert with the dimples is Jaehyun, the idiot next to him is my boyfriend, Ten, and the rabbit is Doyoung,” Taeyong said formally, earning protests from the three who he had introduced against their descriptions.

“I am _not_ an idiot!”

“No way am I a pervert!”

“How the fuck do I look like a rabbit?!”

“I think you’ll fit in just fine with us,” Taeyong said kindly before stiffly turning away and going to put some music on to dance to, leaving the rest to stare after him since the older seemed to be so…out of character.

 

_What the hell was that about?_

 

~

 

“Okay, spill the beans,” Ten stated as Taeyong raised an eyebrow at him from were he was unplugging his phone from the speakers of the practice room. “You don’t like Mark’s new friend.”

“Yes I do,” Taeyong stated, eyeing the other who came closer to him. It had been a few minutes since the others had left…since Mark and his new friend had left. “What makes you think that I don’t?”

“Really, Tae? Really?” Ten asked him, walking towards his bag and hoisting it up to sling on his shoulder. “You were glaring at him!”

“I was not! Quit making up shit!” He protested, angrily stuffing his phone into his pocket and ignoring the vibration of an incoming text.

“You know damn well that I’m not making up shit!” Ten shouted back at him, crossing his arms and sighing as he stared at Taeyong. “I’ve been thinking a lot, you know-“

“How unfortunate,” Taeyong stated, letting out a cry of pain when Ten smacked his head.

“Shut up and listen to me.” He heard the other say firmly before sadness overrode whatever emotion had previously been occupying his mind. “I’ve been thinking about us lately.”

“What’s there _to_ think about?” Taeyong asked him, hand automatically reaching out for the younger’s just to intertwine their fingers because…

 

_Wait, why do I want to do that again?_

 

“Tae, you don’t have to pretend,” Ten’s soft voice invaded his thoughts, making him look at the younger in confusion.

“What do you mean?” He asked, not really knowing why he was pretending in the first place.

“Taeyong…it’s been six months since we first started going out,” Ten said, making Taeyong look at him in even more confusion.

“No it hasn’t-“

“Yes it has,” Ten insisted, looking desperately into his eyes for some sort of sign that Taeyong knew he couldn’t give. “Today’s our anniversary.”

“Fuck, I-“ Taeyong spluttered, remembering the date and cursing himself inwardly for forgetting all about their anniversary. “Ten, I-“

“Don’t apologise.” The younger said, making him shut up before he felt Ten squeeze his hand. “Don’t you dare apologise because you forgot.”

“But, Ten…I-“

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it, Tae,” Ten reassured him, pulling him towards the door. “You just have to buy me dinner!”

“You really love making me broke, don’t you?” He teased the younger who giggled adorably as they exited the room.

“You know that I just really love you.” He heard the younger say genuinely and forced a smile, letting himself appreciate the other’s words before returning them.

“Yeah, I know. I love you too,” He replied, loving the way a smile made it’s way onto Ten’s face at the words.

 

However, Lee Taeyong also felt his heart sink since he knew that the words were starting to lose their honesty very _very_ slowly.

 

~

 

“Mark-hyung? Mark-hyung!” Donghyuck shouted as he waved a hand in front of Mark’s face, trying his best not to bump into anything as they kept walking. “Oh my fucking _god_ , Mark-hyung!”

“Huh?” He asked intelligently, staring down at Donghyuck who scoffed at him. “Huh?!”

“You know, I’ve been thinking,” Donghyuck started as he resumed his position on Mark’s left as the setting sun casted shadows all over the city. _The sunset kind of reminds me of Taeyong-hyung…a blessing that you’ve never asked for._

“Does your brain hurt yet?” He asked, letting out a small yelp when Donghyuck slapped his arm.

“ _Anyway_ , I’ve been thinking about your question and I wasn’t going to help you until I met your friends today,” Donghyuck continued, stopping to look up at Mark and causing Mark to halt his steps as well. “You like one of them, don’t you?” _No thanks, I’m straight._

“I don’t know what you’re on about, Donghyuck,” He stated, taking another step forward before Donghyuck grabbed his elbow and pulled him back.

“Let me rephrase that then,” Donghyuck said, making sure that Mark was looking at him in the eyes before continuing. “You like Taeyong-hyung, don’t you?”

 

Mark didn’t like how his breath hitched at the older’s name.

 

Mark didn’t like how his heart started to beat rapidly inside his chest at the older’s name.

 

But most importantly, Mark didn’t like the knowing gaze that Donghyuck was giving him when he had said the older’s name.

 

“I don’t. He’s just a friend who saved my life,” He replied, not knowing why he felt the need to make that fact clear to the other. “Last time I checked, I wasn’t into guys.”

“I didn’t think you were either until today.” He heard Donghyuck say, the younger’s hand gripping his arm tighter when he tried to escape the hold. “You kept staring at him while he was teaching us that dance…”

“Yeah, because I needed to get the moves right-“

“You and I both know that you weren’t staring because of that!” Donghyuck shouted, staring at Mark with determination in his eyes. “I think you know the real reason as to why you were staring, Mark Lee.” There were a few seconds where all Mark could feel was the rapid beating of his heart and seeping warmth from within at the thought of the older. _I…I wasn’t…_

“It’s not my fault,” Mark slowly mumbled as he let his eyes fall to the ground, hanging his head low in shame. “It’s not my fault he looked ethereal while dancing.”

“Of course it isn’t, hyung,” Donghyuck replied as he released Mark’s elbow and brought his hand up to pat Mark’s head. “It’s no one’s fault.”

“And…and it’s not my fault that he’s always super kind to me,” He continued, not being able to stop the words that were tumbling out of his mouth as Donghyuck gently patted his head.

“Why would that be your fault, hyung?” The younger asked him, free hand coming up to gently brush away a tear that Mark didn’t realise he was shedding.

“It’s not…it’s not my fault…I didn’t…I don’t…” He helplessly mumbled, feeling more tears escape as he brought his hands up to cover his face to salvage his pride. “There’s no way…I can’t be…”

“Hyung, listen to me,” Donghyuck stated, hands gently tugging Mark’s wrists down until they weren’t over his face anymore. “It’s no one’s fault. You don’t need to play the blame game with your feelings.”

“But I…I mean, look at me!” He heard himself shout, the words becoming heavy as they left his lips. “I’m…I practically _ruined_ his life, Hyuck! I can’t ruin it anymore than I already have! I’d only ruin it more if I actually did lik-“

 

Mark let out a choked sob, not wanting to voice out the thought that had been swimming around his head for days.

 

“Hyung, there’s nothing wrong with it,” Donghyuck comforted him, arms steadying him as they both slid to the ground, knees hurting slightly when they came into contact with the hard concrete. “There is nothing wrong with you.”

“But I…Hyuck…I _can’t_ be…there’s not way that I can be like…” Mark let out a groan of frustration as more tears fell, Donghyuck’s arms wrapping around his shoulders as the sun set and strangers walked past them.

“Hyung, you know that there’s nothing wrong with being this way. There’s nothing wrong with you and you know _very well_ that you can be.” He heard Donghyuck’s comforting tone and words as the younger tightened his hold on him.

“Hyuck…he’s dating Ten-hyung. Even if I _was_ , there would be no point,” He hopelessly protested as Donghyuck sighed and sat back to look at Mark fully once more.

“For now, focus on being yourself and accepting that you are,” Donghyuck stated, patting his hair once more as Mark shook his head.

“I…I can’t be…you know I can’t be…”

 

“I know you can be, hyung. I know you _are_.”


	10. He's Worth It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyung, what do I do if I’m gay?
> 
> You talk to me about it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO UPDATE THIS
> 
> YuHyuck will be updated soon too, don't worry!!

“Hey Mark, do you want to go to the dance studio?” Mark looked up from where he was furiously typing a report on his laptop in the small cafe that he had walked to since he decided that the library’s scenery was becoming too boring. He saw Taeyong standing there with a gentle smile on his face, none of his other friends in the vicinity, as the small voice in his head told him that danger was near. 

 

 _He’s dating Ten-hyung. Even if you_ were _, it wouldn’t make a difference._

 

“No thanks, hyung. I’ve got some science problems to work out.” He found himself saying as he averted his attention back to the science report that he was compiling. He pretended not to notice the slight pout on the older’s lips along with the tiny frown that was making itself evident. 

 

_It wouldn’t matter._

 

~

 

“Mark-ah! I was thinking of going to the orphanage! You want to come with?!” 

 

Mark visibly flinched at his desk, knees hitting the underside of the table, when he had heard the sudden voice of the other. He had dropped his pen down on his paper that had messy English words littering the page next to neat Korean, the strokes of the languages blurring as he felt his throat constrict at Taeyong’s kind offer.

 

_It has been a while since I last went…_

 

“I just went yesterday, hyung,” He replied, not even bothering to look at Taeyong who was undoubtedly staring at him in concern from the door. 

“You sure you don’t want to? I mean, your parents said that you haven’t been out in a while-“

“I can’t!” He shouted, glaring at the annoying Korean characters that spelled out the older’s name in front of him. “I have to revise some of this Korean for my upcoming exam next week.”

“Oh…I see…” He heard Taeyong mumble before the creaking of the door pierced his ears - a signal that the other was finally leaving him and his rapidly beating heart alone. “Good luck then…”

 

_Thanks…I’ll need it because I don’t have any upcoming exams for the next three months._

 

~

 

Sighing, Mark tapped on the voice mail that was next to the contact named _‘Ten-hyung <3’ _as he lied down on his bed. The older male’s voice bleeding out of his phone’s speaker with concern.

 

“ _Hey, Markie! It’s me, Ten! Um…I know that you’re not really talking to us but I want to let you know we’re here for you, okay? Yeah, that’s it…we’re all super worried so…just give me a call back if you’re okay…_ ”

 

Hesitantly, he picked up his phone and opened up the chat that was under the same contact. He let his fingers fly across the screen as he compiled a message in English, deleting and retyping his words over and over until he deemed that it was enough. 

 

_Ten-hyung <3_

 

_Hyung, what do I do if I’m gay?_

 

He received a reply sooner than what he had expected - he hadn’t even been able to throw his phone down and wallow in regret.

 

_Ten-hyung <3_

 

_You talk to me about it_

 

He nodded, locking his phone and placing it on the bedside table near him as he retreated underneath the comfort of his blanket. Closing his eyes and trying to ignore the twisting of his heart, Mark vowed that he would call the older the next day when he was ready to ensure that _this_ \- his…his _problematic feelings_ \- were sorted out so that he wouldn’t ruin Taeyong and Ten’s relationship.

 

A week passed and Mark still hadn’t found enough courage to call the older.

 

~

 

“Hyung, you have a voice mail,” Jisung told him at the dinner table that he had just finished cleaning, the dirty dishes were now clean and drying on the rack as he adjusted the tablecloth. 

“Who is it from?” He asked, walking closer and seeing that it was from Taeyong. Gritting his teeth, he turned his back to continue fixing the tablecloth that was already immaculate. 

 

“ _Mark? If you ever hear this stupid voicemail, I just want to let you know that the kids at the orphanage miss you. They said that you haven’t visited them in a month and they want to see you again! Okay…um…bye, I guess…_ ”

 

“Hyung, you need to do something about this.” He heard Jisung say quietly at the end of the message as he felt the younger’s innocent eyes stare into his back. _I can’t do anything about this._

“I can’t do anything, Jisungie,” He replied, turning around to lock gazes with his younger brother. “If I do, it’ll only ruin someone else.”

 

_And I love Ten-hyung and Taeyong-hyung too much to do that to them._

 

~

 

“ _Uh…why do I keep doing this? Mark…if we’ve ever done something wrong - me or any of the other hyungs that you have - we want to let you know that we’re sorry and that we hope you contact us soon. Your parents and Jisung tell me that you’re fine but…it’s been a month since we last_ saw _you and a month and a half since you last_ willingly _talked to us. We’re here for you, okay?_ ”

 

Locking his phone and sliding it into his pocket, Mark walked right into the dance studio that he had avoided for the past few weeks in fear that he would bump into one of his older friends. When he reached the usual practice room that they went to, he let out a sigh of relief that it was empty and proceeded to play some music just to let his mind rest from the constant worrying that it had been hooked on lately. As the music flowed, Mark found himself letting go of all the problems that plagued his mind as he danced and followed the beats. 

 

“Oh! Mark! How’s everything going?”

 

Tripping and catching himself before he could fall over, he rushed to turn the music off before turning his head towards the door to see a brilliant smile with dimples radiating back at him. 

 

“It’s alright, Jaehyun-hyung…” He hesitantly replied, already moving to pack up his belongings to escape the studio since he could sense the awkward air.

“Really? That’s a relief, isn’t it?” Jaehyun asked him, chuckling at the end before coming closer and ruffling his hair while sending Mark’s heart into a panicked pace.

“Yeah…I guess…” He mumbled in reply, quickly ducking to avoid the other’s hand that was coming up to pinch his cheek. 

“Say, do you want to just go and get some ice cream-“

“Sorry, hyung. I have to work on a partner project with Yeri now,” He said to cut the other off, praying that Jaehyun wouldn’t think of texting Yeri later to see if his lie was true. 

 

He couldn’t bear to stick around to hear Jaehyun’s reply.

 

~

 

“ _MARK LEE!  IT’S TAEYONG! ANSWER THIS VOICE MAIL TO LET ME KNOW YOU’RE ALIVE!_ ”

 

Mark threw his phone on his bed before heading towards his wardrobe to change into pyjamas, the need to shed his middle school uniform becoming overbearing the longer that he stayed in it. 

 

He couldn’t get the panicked voice mail of the older out of his head, not even when he tried to fall asleep.

 

~

 

The ringing of his phone woke him up at the ungodly hour of two in the morning as he stretched, deliberately delaying himself from answering his phone just so that it could go to his voicemails. He hadn’t expected Taeyong’s cracking voice to be the one that would come out of his phone’s speakers with a tone that made him feel as if the older cared more about _him_ than anyone else.

 

“ _Sorry, Mark-ah…I just…ignore my last voice message. I…I want you to know that…never mind_.”

 

_What is it that you want me to know, hyung?_

 

~

 

“ _Hey, Mark. I know you’re probably getting a lot from us but I feel the need to check up on you since Tae’s really going mad. If you ever need to talk, we’re here._ ”

 

Mark didn’t know what possessed him to press on the contact of the caller and hope that they would pick up. 

 

“Mark?” He felt his breath hitch when he heard the concerned tone in the other’s voice, nagging absent as he swallowed down his nervousness.

“Hey, Doyoung-hyung,” He replied, voice shaking as he heard Doyoung sigh in relief. _Why would you be relieved, hyung?_

“How…How is everything? Are you doing okay?” The other asked him, voice so gentle that he didn’t think that the other would begin to start nagging him about how he should eat. 

“Yeah, everything’s fine…just…” _I miss you and everyone else._ “Stop trying to call me. _Please_.”

“Why? Mark, is everything really fine?” The other began to ask, questions bombarding the line as he felt a headache building. “Mark, don’t cut us off like this-“

“Please, hyung,” He begged, effectively causing the other to shut his mouth in surprise as guilt began to swim in his stomach once more, the familiar feeling both piercing and ripping his soul apart. “Just for a little while.” 

 

It took three shallow breaths before Doyoung spoke.

 

“Alright…but only because you seem to really need it.”

 

_Thank you, hyung._

 

~

 

“You’re an absolute idiot.” He heard Donghyuck say in greeting when the younger opened up his bedroom door to reveal him lying in a ball on his bed, wallowing in self pity about his current situation. 

“I am not,” He protested, moving to sit up as Donghyuck frowned at him and sat on the edge of the bed. 

“Mark-hyung, you haven’t talked to the hyungs in like two months and they _miss_ you,” Donghyuck informed him, eyes sending him silent questions of what was wrong and it was then that Mark realised that Donghyuck had probably missed him too. For weeks on end, he had been keeping himself busy with going around to his teachers during breaks just to avoid the younger since Donghyuck would surely go ahead and tell him to talk to his older friends. Online, it was easier to talk to Donghyuck than anyone else for he only asked for help on certain math problems and wouldn’t bombard him with texts or voice mails when Mark left him on read for hours.

“I don’t know how to deal with it,” He whispered, hands clutching the blanket and squeezing it in frustration as tears began to form once more. “I really don’t know what to do.”

“Hyung…” Donghyuck mumbled before the younger wrapped his arms around Mark’s shoulders and began to rest his cheek on the top of his head. “Don’t you miss them? Miss _him_?”

 

He did.

 

It clawed at his stomach and his heart.

 

Every single voice mail, every single text…every single encounter made him miss his older friends more.

 

_I miss them, especially Taeyong-hyung._

 

Stiffly nodding, he heard Donghyuck sigh before the younger held him tighter as if to tell him that he was _there_ for him.

“You should talk to him about this,” Donghyuck suggested, voice barely above a whisper as the first tear fell and caused the fabric of the blanket to darken. 

“But he’s dating-“

“Forget about that for now, hyung,” Donghyuck interrupted him, carefully pulling back to look at Mark in the eyes. “Do you like him enough to think that he’s worth it? That he’s worth knowing how you feel?” Gulping and averting his eyes, Mark fell into an abyss of his thoughts with the one question of _‘How much do I like Taeyong-hyung?’_ swimming around his mind. “Don’t think about it and tell me.”

“So much.” He heard the words once they left his mouth before clapping his hand over his lips, afraid that his words could trigger something that he wouldn’t be able to fix within him. 

“Hyung. Hyung, look at me,” Donghyuck whispered softly, hands coming to grab Mark’s own and freeing his mouth. “Is he worth it?” He heard Donghyuck ask as he stared into the younger’s questioning eyes, the gaze stimulating something within him and making him _want_ to say whatever was on his mind.

“Definitely,” He whispered, heart beating faster at the mere thought of the older and his smile that seemed to shine-

“Then this isn’t what you should be doing,” Donghyuck replied, voice still as soft as his own when the younger smiled at him in encouragement. “You should be spending time with him so you can tell him when you’re confident enough.”

“But…he’s dating-“

 

“He’s worth it, hyung. You just told me that he was worth it. You can do this and if it breaks you, I’ll be here to pick up the pieces along with Doyoung-hyung, Jaehyun-hyung, Jisung and Ten-hyung - if you want Ten-hyung to be there, that is.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EVERYONE THANK YOU FOR THE 100+ KUDOS IT MEANS SO MUCH I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!


	11. As Bad As Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You two are just as bad as each other.”

“Don’t you dare lie to me.” Taeyong felt his heart squeeze a bit in pain at the statement, the serious face of the other contrasting his usual joking one. 

“I promise I won’t.” He found himself saying in reply since his boyfriend looked quite scary at that moment, looking up at him with a glare that spoke more than his words.

“Then…you don’t really like me that much…do you?” Ten asked him, licking his lips in anticipation which was a habit that Taeyong noticed he often did when nervous.

“Ten, I-“ _I’m sorry._

“Save it, Taeyong. Spit it out,” Ten snapped at him, glare intensifying the longer he didn’t answer and causing chills to run own Taeyong’s spine.

“I…No…not now, anyway,” He replied, breaking eye contact and resorting to stare at the floor as Ten inhaled sharply.

“So at one point, you did?” _At one point but not now._

“Yeah…but…you’re like me…aren’t you?” He asked, shyly glancing up at the other who averted his eyes - mirroring his own fidgets that he had performed earlier. 

“I am…I’m sorry…” Ten whispered before walking closer to take his hands into his, Taeyong’s heart breaking a little at the debris that had grown in Ten’s eyes. “Is he…is he a good person?”

“He’s better than both of us combined,” He answered honestly, heart racing against his will as he thought about the younger - his smile, his laugh, his kindness, his genuinely, his-

 

“Who is he?”

 

_Am I ready to admit who it is? I’m not meant to be having these kinds of feelings towards him…_

 

“I can’t-“ He started, lips meeting Ten’s palm as the other smirked up at him - sorrow in his eyes as bright as ever.

“It’s Mark…isn’t it?” He heard Ten ask, causing his eyes to widen comically as the memories of smiles, laughs and acts of kindness morphed into the one boy who went by the name of _Mark Lee._

“How did you-“ _know?_ I _didn’t even know until recently when I called him out of panic and he didn’t even answer me!_

“You’re not subtle, Yong,” Ten said lightly, giggling a bit at the end with despair staining his forced happiness. “Are you going to tell him?”

“No, we’re-“ _dating…right?_

“Nope. We’re done, Taeyong. I’m not dating you anymore,” Ten stated, smiling cheekily up at him as he blinked in surprise, brain scrambling to comprehend his words. “Mark deserves someone who loves him like how you loved me. You better not disappoint me on this.”

“But this is all so sudden-“

“And? He got us together so now I’m going to get you together,” Ten interrupted him - a habit that he seemed to like doing, Taeyong noted. 

“Ten-“ _You know I can’t like him like this._

“You get no choice.” Taeyong couldn’t help but feel as if Ten’s words answered more than just his question…he felt as if it were a statement that _he_ should have said instead. 

 

_That’s right, you’ve got no choice. You can’t choose who you fall in love with._

 

“But I shouldn’t-“ _like him like this and you know that._

“Then you’ll never ask him out,” The other said, looking down at the floor with so much sorrow that Taeyong wanted to collect Ten in his arms again and shower him with love - just as they did before he started falling in love with someone who was around three years younger than himself. “At least tell him that you like him - he deserves that at least.”

“But what about you?” He asked, not wanting his friend to be alone for life and strongly wanting him to be with someone since Ten deserved the world and more. “What about the love that _you_ deserve?” It was a few seconds of ten just staring at him before the other laughed - the laugh containing more than forced happiness and hidden hurt.

 

It contained so many emotions that Taeyong, himself, couldn’t name - couldn’t even _imagine_.

 

“I’ll think of something, Taeyong. Just make sure that you think of something too.” Taeyong found himself smiling at the other’s statement and thanking the heavens that he had someone as understanding as Ten. “I’m curious though, when did you know that you liked him?” _When did I?_

“When I called him to tell him to answer his phone and he didn’t,” He answered honestly, staring into Ten’s eyes as the other looked at him in amusement. “That set off so much anger and worry in me that I honestly didn’t know I could experience.”

“You want to know when I realised?” He nodded, sincerely wanting to know since he was sure that he couldn’t have fell in love with Mark Lee in the span of a few minutes. “Do you remember the day when you first asked me if I thought Mark was ignoring you?” He nodded again, confused since that day seemed to be so long ago. “The kiss you gave me…it was if you were kissing someone you _missed_.”

“But I didn’t like him then,” He protested softly, small actions that he had performed even days after that event around Mark suddenly making sense - why he liked having Mark close to him, why he didn’t like Mark introducing Donghyuck to him and why Ten had asked him to stop pretending. 

“You did,” Ten stated, eyes staring right into his own as he said his next few words. “You’ve always liked him. You said that you liked me at some point but that was a _lie_ , Taeyong.”

“No, Ten, I _swear_ -“ 

“You never liked me, Taeyong. The day you asked me out, you were with Mark. Heck, he even got us together! On our first date, you picked me up late because you dropped him off home!” Both Taeyong and Ten found it fitting that the younger was raising his voice, the harsh reality of the other’s words blurring the memories and his motives with each new argument. “Taeyong, you _hated_ Donghyuck at first until you learned that he didn’t like Mark like that. _You_ were the one who was worried the most when Mark shut us all out and you still are!”

“But then…everything I felt around you…” He hopelessly mumbled, staring at Ten who was simply nothing more than a friend to him. Although his heart stopped beating rapidly a while ago, Taeyong couldn’t help but wonder _when_ it had stopped beating rapidly at the thought of Ten and _if_ it had ever done that around Ten.

“It was real,” Ten insisted, smiling sadly at him and Taeyong could see tears forming rapidly. “It was real but I only truly had you for around a month, Taeyong. Mark had you before and after that.”

“But Mark is-“

“Yours. He’s yours, Taeyong,” Ten interrupted him once more, wiping his tears away as Taeyong stared helplessly - not sure if he was _allowed_ to wipe the other’s tears. “You just have to make him yours.”

“But he doesn’t like me like that,” He said, mood dropping at the fact that Mark didn’t like him the way he liked the younger. “And he won’t ever like me like that because I’m practically his older brother.” 

 

Whatever Lee Taeyong had expected, it wasn’t Ten laughing at him like he had said that he could suddenly fly. 

 

“See this is why you couldn’t ask me out until Mark helped you,” Ten said, wiping a tear that Taeyong wanted to believe was out of happiness more than sadness. “You suck at reading people, Yong. Even a blind person can tell what Mark’s feelings for you are.”

 

_So he really does hate me…doesn’t he?_

 

~ 

 

“I’m sorry,” He sobbed, wiping furiously at his eyes as the older male held him tighter and closer than ever before. “I’m really sorry, Ten-hyung.”

“I’m not letting you apologise,” Ten scolded him, eyes narrowing as they conversed in English since Mark’s brain was too busy to be thinking in his second language. He was suddenly glad that Jisung, who was currently at his desk and filling out some English worksheets for school, didn’t know enough of the second language to understand what they were conversing on top of the bed. “You can’t just call me saying that you’re finally going to talk things out with me and then burst into tears when I arrive without good reason.”

“I just…I feel like…Hyung, am I a bad person?” He asked the other, tears still falling as he stared up at the older male. “Like…no good person would like one of their closest friend’s boyfriend!”

“Mark…you’re far from a bad person.” Ten’s words seemed to travel straight from the older’s mouth to where his heart was, stabbing it with so much sincerity that he almost believed that he _was_ a good person. _Almost._

“I’m far from being a bad person,” He whispered, wiping his eyes once more as tears fell down his cheeks with Ten tightening his grip on him. “No good person would still have feelings like mine.”

“No bad person would have kept it hidden until now,” Ten replied easily, chuckling at the end as he rested his cheek on the top of Mark’s head. “No bad person would have done nothing.”

“But I _have_ done stuff…” He trailed off, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes in a futile attempt to stop his tears. “Every time I see you with him, it’s like there’s a knife in my gut,” He continued, feeling Ten’s chest rise up and down as he breathed steadily among his inner turmoil. “And like every time you make him laugh or smile or both, I…I don’t know why but I just _hate_ the fact that you can do it and I can’t.”

“How long?” Ten asked him, no trace of anger in his question - simply curiosity. “How long has this been happening?”

“Since the first day,” He answered helplessly, sniffling and leaning most of his weight on the older male. “Even before then.”

“Mark…” Ten started, pulling away to look at him in the eyes with so much sorrow and concern. “I’m so sorry.”

 

_What?_

 

_That’s not how the script is meant to go._

 

“You have nothing to be sorry _for_ , Ten-hyung,” He pointed out, already feeling his tears slide tirelessly down his cheeks as Ten held his hands to stop them from cleaning his face. “You’re not in the wrong.”

“Then neither are you.” _But I am._ “Neither are you.”

“How?” He asked, lip quivering as Ten sighed before smiling brightly at him that left him blinded. _Wow…no wonder Taeyong-hyung likes him so much._

“I’m just as bad as you are,” Ten stated, gathering Mark in his arms once more and dropping his head on the younger’s shoulder. “No good person dates someone who is obviously in love with someone else.”

 

His heart clenched at the news in sadness - sadness for himself, sadness for Ten but also sadness for _Taeyong._

 

_Taeyong-hyung deserves to be happy._

 

“But isn’t he in love with…” He let his question disappear once he felt Ten shake his head against his shoulder. 

“He’s not. Not now at least,” Ten whispered as he took a shaky breath, not believing the other’s words since his chances just increased from 0 to around 0.5. “And before you ask, he likes someone in this room.”

“But I don’t want to know who he likes,” He whined, already feeling his heart twist in pain as he said the words - ignoring the bit where his heart didn’t break due to the slim chance that Taeyong felt the same. “That’ll only hurt me more.”

“Oh my _god_ ,” Ten complained, wrenching his head out from where it was on Mark’s shoulder and leaning back to stare at the ceiling while contemplating his life choices. “You two are just as bad as each other.”

“Hyung, what do you-“

“Mark, he likes someone in this room and that person isn’t me,” Ten stated, shaking the other lightly as his stomach dropped.

“Hyung…you mean…” He started, swallowing before staring at Ten seriously, throat drying at his realisation. “Taeyong-hyung likes _Jisung_?!”

 

Mark had never heard Ten swear more in his entire life than he did at that moment as Jisung blinked at them in confusion. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU ALL FOR THE 150+ KUDOS!!!! YOU ALL SHOW SO MUCH SUPPORT FOR ALL MY STORIES AND THIS SERIES ESPECIALLY SO THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!!!!!


	12. Maybe There Is A Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You are like the worst wingman ever,” He groaned, leaning back in his seat as he contemplated his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so first, I must apologise since this chapter was meant to be up a while ago but my laptop had crashed when I was writing it and so I had lost almost everything that I had written (for all my stories, not just this one). So, I hope you enjoy this semi-rushed chapter that I was too lazy to edit ^_^

“You’re telling me that you think Taeyong-hyung likes Jisung?”

 

Carefully, he nodded seriously as his best friend sighed before him, tanned eyes closing as the other probably contemplated his life choices.

 

“And Ten-hyung started swearing right after?”

 

Again, he nodded only for his best friend to sigh once more as his stomach dropped.

 

“Mark-hyung…why the fuck are you an idiot?” _Huh?_

“What do you mean?” He asked, tilting his head slightly to the side as he frowned at his best friend. Donghyuck simply pressed his lips into a thin line, staring at Mark with so much disapproval that even Mark felt like he had done something wrong. _Don’t look at me like that, especially not when we’re in_ my _room and meant to be_ studying.

“Oh my fucking god, can you use your two brain cells for _one_ moment, hyung?” Donghyuck asked him, voice rising in frustration as Mark felt his brain throb with pain. “Like honestly…to think you _actually_ think that-“

“But Ten-hyung said so!” He protested, reaching forward to grab on unimpressed Donghyuck’s shoulders to shake him lightly to get his point across. “The only _other_ person in the room was me and-“

“And did it ever cross your mind that you could be the one that Taeyong-hyung likes?” Donghyuck asked him, causing him to stop shaking the younger abruptedly as the question swam around in his brain. “No, it didn't. You know why? Cause you’re an _idiot_ who only has half a brain cell working to make you breathe-“

“Do you really think I have a chance?” He asked his best friend, sarcasm dancing in the air as hope hid behind it. “Like actually or are you just fucking with me-“

“Ask your precious hyung yourself,” Donghyuck stated before he stood up and exited the bedroom, shutting the door softly and leaving Mark to his own thoughts.

 

_Should I go and talk to Taeyong-hyung about this?_

 

~

 

“Can I just tell you that the guy you like is an idiot?” Looking up from his dance essay that he was filling out for school, Taeyong simply blinked at his close friend who sighed at his reaction in the quiet library of their high school.

“What do you mean?” He asked, eyebrows furrowing as he thought about all of the idiotic (yet adorable) things that Mark had done in the past. “He’s not that bad.”

“He thinks you like his brother,” Ten replied flatly, eyes conveying how frustrated and disappointed he was in the younger.

“Jisung? He’s like tiny though…” He commented, watching as Ten sighed and sat opposite him. “Why would he think that?”

“You ask him, not me,” Ten stated before he was yawning and pulling out his laptop from his bag. “He hasn’t let you talk to him yet, has he?” Looking down at the table in sadness, Taeyong shook his head.

“He’s still ignoring all of us but I feel like he’s ignoring me the most,” He whispered, sighing as he remembered all the times that he had tried to talk to the younger only to be fed a half-assed excuse before Mark was scurrying away. “Why is he ignoring me?”

“He told me something interesting a while back,” Ten started, glancing around at the library at everyone who was doing more schoolwork than they were at that moment. “He thinks that he’s a bad person.”

“He isn’t,” He replied, confusion overriding his being at the thought of Mark being classified as a bad person. “He’s like one of the purest souls I know-“

“Then _tell_ him that, Tae,” Ten sighed out, shaking his head before he was typing furiously on his laptop. “Do it or I will.”

“You wouldn’t,” He whispered, slightly scared since he knew that the other would. He only received a short but intense glare from the younger male. “Ok, you would.”

“Damn right,” Ten replied, smile making it’s way on his face as he continued typing. “But tell him soon, Tae.”

“I…what if it ruins everything between us?” He asked, not wanting to lose the comfort and feeling of _home_ that he felt around Mark. “We’ve been together for so long and I don’t think I’d be able to-“

 

“Live without him, we know,” Ten interrupted him, eyes glistening with happiness touched by remorse. “None of us can. So, you have to step up your game and tell him that you have this big gay crush on him.”

“I don’t even know if he likes boys, Ten!” He shouted, lowering his voice and coughing when the librarian gave him a stern look from behind the autobiography shelves. “I mean, even if he _did_ , what are the chances that he’d like someone like _me_? He doesn’t even _talk_ to me anymore. You know, last week, he just refused to open his bedroom door when I went over-“

“Oh he’s gay,” Ten stated off-handedly as if the information didn’t change his perspective on everything.

“He’s _what_?!” He asked, eyes widening as he ignored the second stern look that the librarian gave him. “And you didn’t _tell_ me?!”

“To be fair, I only found out recently,” Ten said, putting his hands up in mock surrender. “But yes, he is gay.”

“You are like the _worst_ wingman _ever_ ,” He groaned, leaning back in his seat as he contemplated his life. “But do you think that I-“

“Have a chance?” Ten asked, raising his eyebrow in amusement as Taeyong shyly nodded. “Have some faith in yourself. You’re handsome, a great dancer, personality could improve but it’s pretty interesting, your grades aren’t overly awesome but they’re stable…Taeyong, you saved Mark’s _life_ when you were a child. The kid practically worships you.”

“That’s the thing!” He exclaimed, pointing his finger at the other as he watched Ten let his eyes drop down and go cross-eyed. “We’ve known each for so long that we’re practically _brothers_! I’ve known him longer than the Parks, Ten!”

“Then you should know that Mark wouldn’t ignore you without a good reason,” Ten replied easily, shrugging his shoulders as he diverted all of his attention on the laptop in front of him. “Just talk to him, Tae. I know you’ll be able to.”

“But what if-“ _I can’t? What if he doesn’t react the way I want him to?_

 

_What if I lose the Mark Lee that I fell for?_

 

“But nothing, Yong. You’re going to go to Mark and you’re going to tell him what a brilliant piece of sunshine he is to you or whatever,” Ten stated, tone final as Taeyong slumped in his seat and reread the first sentence of the new paragraph on his dance essay. “Don’t look so down. I may have dumped you but I don’t want to see you sad, Tae.”

“Then how _do_ you want to see me?” He asked, guilt settling within him since he had practically lead Ten on all those months that they had dated. “Last I checked, people cursed their exes in high school.”

“Seriously?” He heard Ten ask and scoff, the younger chuckling as he blinked in confusion. “I’m not that petty.” After hearing those words that were laced with regret, Taeyong decided to drop the topic and focus fully on his essay. It wasn’t until he had finished packing up his stuff and had stood up to leave that Ten replied.

 

“I want to see you happy, Taeyong, and only Mark can give you that.” He heard the younger say quietly, eyes glued to his screen as Taeyong stared at him in bewilderment. “I want to see you two on your first date, I want to see you two laughing and I want to see you two look at each other with so much happiness that it makes me feel sick.” At the end of that sentence, Ten lifted his eyes off the laptop screen and locking them with his own - so many unknown emotions lurking within his irises. “I want to see you two hold hands in public, I want to see you two kiss each other without a care in the world and I want to see you two in a church in suits with big grins as you say your vows. I _want_ you to be _happy,_ Taeyong. Not because I’m your ex but because I’m your _friend_.”

“I…” He started, staring at Ten in amazement as the other smirked.

“That’s why you have to tell him as soon as you can,” Ten finished, smiling softly at him and turning his gaze back to the laptop screen. “I have to be best man though. If I’m not best man, I’m taking back everything I just said.” Taeyong couldn’t stop the small chuckle that escaped him at the thought of marrying _Mark Lee - the boy who he found cold in the rain._

“I don’t even know if we’re going to reach that stage,” He admitted quietly, chuckling and rubbing his nape as he felt a blush creep up to his cheeks. He heard Ten scoff at his proclamation.

“If it’s meant to be, you will,” Ten replied, glancing at Taeyong once more. “I know you will.”

“Oh you know now?” He asked teasingly as Ten rolled his eyes and began to type more on his laptop.

“You want a full ten page essay on how I know that you two are perfect for each other?” Ten asked him, same teasing tone infused into his words. “Because I’ll gladly start now.” He watched as Ten cleared his throat and began to dictate whatever he was typing. “Many people say that love comes in different forms but for those who require assistance, love comes in a special connection that only certain people are able to experience in the entirety of their life.”

“What a brilliant first sentence,” He commented sarcastically, rolling his eyes as the essay sounded more like a narrative.

“Despite all of the trials and tribulations of life,” Ten continued, ignoring him and causing him to slightly scowl. “two certain males by the names of _Lee Taeyong_ and _Mark Lee_ , otherwise known as _Lee Minhyung_ , have been able to establish this connection through their various interactions that began with the older, open bracket, Lee Taeyong, close bracket, saved the life of the other, open bracket, Mark Lee, close bracket, who was left abandoned at the age of seven.”

“He was six,” He interrupted before he could stop himself, Ten’s eyes immediately flying to his own as he smiled.

“See? You even remembered that small detail,” Ten pointed out before motioning for the other to go to wherever he was meant to be. “You two are meant for each other, end of story.”

 

_If even Ten is this determined to get me to confess then…_

 

_…maybe there is a chance._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the one that a lot of people will be waiting for ^_^


	13. Mirrors of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s no point, remember? He likes Ten-hyung and if not, he likes Jisung. There’s no way he’d like you-
> 
> “Mark-ah? What’s going on?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE chapter is here!!

“Hyung…please get out of my room.” He found himself saying one day when he had gotten home from school, heart immediately reacting to the older who was sitting patiently on his bed and scrolling through his phone. “This is a breach of privacy.”

“Mark…it’s been _months_ since we last talked…can we…” Mark tried his best to not stare at the slick tongue that escaped the other’s mouth to lick his lips out of an abundance of nerves. “Can we talk?”

“There’s nothing to talk about, hyung,” He replied, words resembling a whine as Taeyong sighed. “It’s just, you know, puberty and that shit.” _And the fact that I can’t have you._

“Please, Mark-“

“No!” He screamed, pulling his arm back violently since Taeyong’s mere _touch_ was searing enough. “ _Please_ , Taeyong-hyung. Just leave me alone.” Unceremoniously dropping his school bag somewhere on the floor and marching out of his room, Mark couldn’t get over the rapid beating of his heart nor the nerves that made his anxiety rise. _There’s no point, remember? He likes Ten-hyung and if not, he likes Jisung. There’s no way he’d like_ you-

“Mark-ah? What’s going on?” He heard Taeyong call after him, speeding up his footsteps and exiting the house, not even bothering to wave at his parents. “You don’t talk to me anymore.” He only stopped once they were a good distance away from his house - a block at least - and Taeyong had grabbed his elbow from behind, fingers burning and spreading sweet warmth that Mark found himself getting addicted.

“Hyung,” He started, turning around and feeling the tears build up in his eyes at the amount of worry that he had caused the other to feel for Taeyong _shouldn’t_ have such an _ugly_ emotion on his face. “Do you ever look at someone and just feel so _grateful_ that they’re in your life?” He asked, eyes lingering on the older’s confused face before inwardly scoffing and looking away at the drops of rain that began to fall.

“Mark, what are you on-“

“Of course you do,” He interrupted the older, chest rising up and down rapidly due to the fastening pace of his breaths. “Of _fucking_ course you do because you’re dating Ten-hyung.” He swallowed thickly, willing himself not to shed tears and to not look so _weak_. “Which is fine!” _It’s fine._ “It’s just…the person I look at like that…” Mark exhaled before he dragged his eyes up to Taeyong’s, feeling immense sadness and regret for not being able to make Taeyong like him _first_. “He probably doesn’t even think of me as much as I think of him.” He counted the seconds slowly by the amount of breaths that he took, not being able to read Taeyong’s thoughts until the older’s face was falling with sadness enveloping every single facial feature.

“Mark…” _Hyung…I can’t…we can’t…_ why _can’t we?!_

“I’ll be fine though, right?” He asked, laughing at himself mentally for sounding so _desperate_ and _childish._ “Taeyong-hyung, I’ll be happy as you one day, right?” _Even if I can’t be with you, I’ll be as happy as you, right?_

“Of course you will, Mark.” He tried his best not to notice how the other’s words that were meant to be filled with sincerity seemed to be robotic - recorded and rehearsed. “Why wouldn’t you be?” _Because whenever I look at you with Ten-hyung…I feel_ envious _because he can hold your hand and kiss you and hug you so much and I just…_

 

… _I hate myself beyond belief for not being able to tell you that I want you since I have no right to take away your happiness._

 

“Mark? Mark!” He merely shook his head and dug the heels of his palms into his eyes in a useless effort to stop the oncoming tears. “ _Shit._ Mark, you’ll be okay, alright? You’ll be so happy in the future and you’ll find someone who loves you for _you_ and then-“

“But I don’t _want_ to find someone, hyung!” He shouted, carefully letting his body sink slowly to their floor and flinching when Taeyong’s hands held his arms to steady him. “I don’t _want_ to go and find someone…I don’t want to…” He mumbled when his knees hit the floor and the rain slowly got heavier. When Taeyong didn’t speak, he decided to continue since _this_ \- venting out his inner thoughts to Taeyong - was different from when he did _this_ \- venting out his frustrations - to Donghyuck. “I don’t _want_ to go and love someone else when he’s so _perfect_ already! I don’t _want_ to go and be happy with someone else because I’m already so happy with him!” He dug his palms deeper into his eyes when he felt sobs start to erupt from his body and Taeyong’s warmth encasing him in a hug.

“It’s okay, you’ll be okay…” He heard Taeyong whisper to him over the sound of the rain, each drop falling on them and soaking their clothes.

“But I know I _won’t be_ if I move on,” He replied softly, finally letting his hands leave his face and link themselves’s behind Taeyong’s back. “Know that if I love someone else…it won’t be the same.”

“It’ll be stronger,” Taeyong said from where he had buried his head into Mark’s neck, breath tickling him but also making him tense. “It’s stronger the second time around.”

“Was yours?” He asked, hating how the words seemed to want to disappear near the end of the question. “Who did you love before Ten-hyung?”

“No one.” _Then how-_ “I’m in love with someone else now.” _So he really does like Jisung…_ “Mark…have you ever…have you ever _tried_ to tell this person that you like them?”

“No,” He answered without hesitating despite wanting to say the opposite answer. “He doesn’t love me like that.”

“How do you know?” He swallowed thickly again at the question, silently praying that neither of them would catch a cold from being exposed to the rain that had escalated to just short of a downpour. “How would you know if you don’t try?”

“I just..” The words had caught themselves in his throat, twisting and tangling into each other as he tried to force them out. “What if he doesn’t, hyung?”

“Won’t you regret not telling him? Won’t you regret it if you found someone in high school and didn’t tell him?” _You’re wrong, hyung._

 

_I regret it already._

 

“He doesn’t like me like that, hyung…” He mumbled, holding the older tighter in fear of losing him. “What about you? Why don’t you tell the person you like?”

“Because just like you, he wouldn’t like me the way I like him.” _Makes sense since it’s Jisung._ “But I still think you should tell yours. Mine can wait.”

“But hyung-“

“And if they reject you, I’ll be right here for you.” Mark watched as Taeyong leaned back and slowly - hesitantly - rested his head against his own, hearing Taeyong’s breaths become shorter and shallower. “I’ll be right here because I love you.” _But not in the way that I want you to._

“Hyung…if I…” He hesitated, shifting his hands to hold onto Taeyong’s loose shirt tightly and planning to hold on for dear life if Taeyong made a move to leave. “If I told you that the person I love is you…what would you say?” He saw obvious conflict appear in Taeyong’s eyes, hurt and disappointment flashing in his pupils before his face became emotionless.

“I’d tell you that I love you just as much and if not, more.” Mark couldn’t help the way that his breath hitched, couldn’t help the way that the blush he had been fighting down had suddenly sprung to life on his cheeks and couldn’t help the way that this heart sped up even more.

 

Mark Lee couldn’t help feeling so _elated_ and _light_ and-

 

“But you shouldn’t be asking me when you obviously-“

“Hyung,” He cut the other off, tapping the older’s back in a silent plea for him to listen to his next words and watched as Taeyong’s mouth closed shut. “I…Taeyong-hyung.”

“We should probably get back to your house,” Taeyong said, tone inferring urgency as Mark realised that the older wanted to _avoid_ what he was about to say. “You probably have cold by now-“

“ _Taeyong-hyung_ ,” He said more forcefully, slightly glaring at the older when he moved to stand up and clutching at the older’s back until his knuckles turned white. “ _Please_ , just _listen_.”

“Do you want hot chocolate? I think you need something warm-“

“Taeyong-hyung!” He shouted, not caring about the looks that other people gave them as they sat there hugging each other on the street and not caring about the panic that was evident in Taeyong’s eyes. “Taeyong-hyung, I love _you_. I love you so much that it’s really embarrassing and I didn’t think you liked me but-“

“Mark-ah, I love you just as much and if not, more.” He heard Taeyong reply, watching tears build up in the older’s eyes as his slowly ceased. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you earlier and I’m so sorry you had to go through everything-“

“You’re not joking, right?” He asked, still fearful that everything was some cruel joke but when Taeyong looked highly offended, all of that fear washed away with the rain.

“Are you kidding me?! I _just_ told you that I love you!” Taeyong retaliated, earning a slight giggle from him as he lowered his head onto Taeyong’s shoulder. “And now you’re laughing at me?!”

“I love you, hyung,” He whispered, tightening his end of the hug and smiling to himself when Taeyong did the same as if to say _‘so do I’_. “I love you and all the pain was worth it to hear you that you love me too.”

“It wasn’t.” He heard Taeyong state before he was being coaxed to look at the older, Taeyong cradling his face in his hands when he did. “It wasn’t and I don’t want to hear you saying that it was.”

“But hyung-“

“But nothing,” Taeyong cut him off, smiling slightly before Mark felt a kiss being pressed to his forehead. “I’m sorry you had to go through all of that, Baby Lion.”

“Make it up to me,” He stated, not leaving much room for argument and saw Taeyong raise his eyebrow.

“How would you like me to make it up to you?” He pretended to contemplate his choices even though he already knew what he wanted.

“I was thinking some hot chocolate and cuddles under a blanket,” He answered and shyly looked at Taeyong who had begun to gently stroke his cheekbones with his thumbs. “…and maybe a few dates and being my boyfriend…”

 

Mark didn’t know if he _liked_ the sound of Taeyong laughing at him or if he _hated_ the sound of Taeyong laughing at him.

 

“Was that you trying to be smooth?” Taeyong asked him between fits of laughter, causing him to pout as Taeyong tried to stifle his giggles while trying to reassure him.

“What if I just wanted to shoot my shot?” He huffed, realising that he was acting quite a bit like Donghyuck before stopping himself. “But seriously, hyung…I want to date you.”

“There’s three years between us,” Taeyong pointed out and he saw the hesitation in the older’s eyes. “I’ve known you so long that we’re pretty much brothers.”

“Three years is nothing when we’re this close,” He retaliated, scrunching up his nose at the thought of Taeyong being his brother. “And I don’t want you as a brother when I want you to be my boyfriend. That’s incest.”

“Let me court you first,” Taeyong whispered to him, not failing to make Mark’s breath hitch at the thought of the other _courting_ him like those couples in the terrible soap operas that his mother watched. “I want to court you, Mark-ah.”

“Until when?” He asked, not knowing how much longer he could go _without_ dating Taeyong now that he knew that the older likes - loves!! - him as well.

“How about graduation?” There was only around four to three months until he graduated from middle school and when Taeyong graduated from high school. “Until after graduation? I want to ask you to be my boyfriend properly.”

“Promise only until graduation, hyung?” He asked, childishly holding out his pinky for a pinky promise and smiled widely when Taeyong linked their pinkies together.

 

“I promise, Mark Lee. I promise that I won’t leave you. Now come on, let's get you something warm. You want that?”

"Really?! You're asking that?! Of course, hyung. My answer is the same as the day you found me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm semi satisfied with this chapter since I feel like my usual writing flow isn't as strong as I want it to be but I think it's good enough. 
> 
> ALSO, THANK YOU FOR THE 200+ KUDOS!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS BEYOND BELIEF (ok I'm taking my leave now)


	14. Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Please don’t tell me you’re going to your first date like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, some family things happened and I had to visit a bunch of people because time was running out before I got an onslaught of work to do and well...things finally calmed down enough for me to write something! Sorry for being MIA for nearly a month on all my stories!

“Oh no, Mark Lee.”

“Please don’t tell me you’re going to your first date like _that_.”

 

Mark turned around from where he was staring at himself in front of the mirror, shooting a confused look towards the two who were the devil’s twins and currently sitting on his bed.

 

“You’re changing,” Donghyuck stated as he hopped off the bed and began to yank several articles on clothing from Mark’s drawers, shaking his head as he did so. “He has _nothing,_ hyung!”

“You’re kidding…” Ten let out as he slid off the bed and walked over to where Donghyuck stood, leaving Mark staring at the both of them in confusion as Ten gasped and quickly pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Jae? Yeah, get Doyoung to bring a cute outfit and get your ass to Mark’s _now_.” He heard Ten hiss out before violently ending the call and staring up at him with piercing eyes since he was taller than the other ever since his growth spurt.

“Hyung?” He asked, gulping nervously as Ten sighed dramatically before smiling and ruffling his hair.

“You’re so nervous, calm down, Mark,” Ten said softly, smiling gently at him before the smile turned cheeky. “It’s just Taeyong, you know.”

“Yeah, the one guy that made Mark gay,” Donghyuck butted in, snorting and laughing when Ten did, causing Mark’s cheeks to heat up slightly.

“I…It was hard accepting it, okay…” He mumbled, wishing that Taeyong was there to at least get the other two to calm down. _Why are they even here anyway?! What’s wrong with my plain t-shirt and jeans?!_

 

Several pings from rocks hitting his window interrupted his thoughts, prompting Mark to go over to the window and open it to reveal a sheepishly smiling Doyoung who held a backpack and a mischievous Jaehyun.

 

“Yo!” Jaehyun greeted, already climbing inside his bedroom since his house was one floor. “Nice seeing you all here.”

“Grab the bag, Jae,” Doyoung stated flatly from outside, holding the bag out to the younger who rolled his eyes and took it as Doyoung began to climb in.

“You know I have a front door…right?” He asked warily, watching Doyoung who unceremoniously fell into a heap on his carpet.

“There’s no fun in that,” Doyoung answered, grabbing the bag off Jaehyun and pulling out several articles of clothing that didn’t seem to be his fashion style. The first piece were simple skinny jeans that were a light shade of grey, the second piece was a white sweater that he recognised as Taeyong’s and the last piece was a plain black choker.

 

_Choker? Wait, I-_

 

“Why do you look like we murdered your grandma?” Jaehyun asked flatly as Doyoung shoved the pieces of clothing into his arms. “Go ahead and get changed!”

“But I…” He started, looking down at the clothes that were in his hands before looking up at the other in worry. “Hyung, I don’t wear this kind of stuff!”

“I have some contacts that’ll really help with this outfit!” Donghyuck exclaimed before he was jumping out Mark’s still open window and running down the streets to his own abode.

“Nice one!” Ten exclaimed before he exchanged a high five with Doyoung who wore a smug expression. “What are you waiting for?”

“I…I don’t wear this sort of stuff…” He mumbled, gesturing to the choker that lay innocently on top of the pile he was unwillingly holding.

“Trust me, Taeyong likes that shit,” Doyoung stated before he shoved Mark outside of his own bedroom and down the hall of his own house to his own bathroom, claiming that he _must_ change into the outfit _or else_. “You’ll be fine, Mark. Trust us a little.” Reaching out for the rapidly closing door, Mark wasn’t surprised when he tugged on the handle only for it to be slammed shut and held in place on the other side. Sighing to himself, he began to change into the skinny jeans and sweater that was way too big for him before fumbling with the clasp of the choker behind his neck. He faintly heard Donghyuck’s _‘I’m back, bitches!’_ from where he was when he knocked on the door, feeling like an immense idiot as he held his own clothes in his hands.

“Doyoung-hyung, can I come out of my own bathroom now?” He asked, sighing in relief when the door opened to reveal a proud Doyoung, an amazed Donghyuck and an amused Jisung. “Stop staring,” He whined, turning his head away from the others who seemed to shamelessly stare at him in Doyoung’s outfit.

“You _have_ to put the contacts in,” Donghyuck insisted, taking the clothes from his hands and shoving them into Jisung’s, much to the younger’s disapproval. “Come on, hyung!” He heard Donghyuck screech before his best friend was pulling his wrist and leading him back to his bedroom. He heard a whistle the minute he stepped into his room and nearly choked when he saw Ten wink in his direction.

 

“Looking good, Lee!” Jaehyun exclaimed, ruffling Doyoung’s hair in what Mark assumed was pride. “Really did a great job, Dons!”

“It’s only because this is what Taeyong likes,” Doyoung replied, smiling up at the other as the two exchanged a look.

“Mark, you have to keep your eyes open,” Donghyuck said softly, taking out one contact from its container and holding it dangerously close to his eye. “Calm down, they’re new and unused.”

“Hyuck, I don’t-“

“Do this kind of stuff, yeah I know,” Donghyuck replied, tongue sticking out at the corner of his mouth as he concentrated on putting the contact on his right eye. “But we can change that.”

“No, we-“

“Next one!” Mark felt a little bit of himself die on the inside as he watched in horror at Donghyuck’s actions of getting the other contact out of its container. As if came closer, he tried his best not to squirm but failed since the sight of Donghyuck holding a foreign object to his eye was so much more than _scary_. It took a while but eventually, both contacts were in and Donghyuck was screaming his head off in delight.

“Look in the mirror! Look in the mirror!” He heard Donghyuck yell and squinted at the sheer volume that the other was using before he heard several squeals and someone dying of laughter in the corner of the room.

“Hyung! Oh my god!” He heard Jisung wheeze out between giggles as Ten kept squealing and pulling his arm to the mirror.

“You’re _hot_ now!” Ten exclaimed as he saw the image in front of him that seemed to surreal to be true. The pants were tight but hugged his legs and showed off how skinny they were, the sweater was big on him and made him seem smaller than what he really was and the choker stood out amongst his pale skin. However, what surprised him the most was the contacts that changed his dark brown eyes into a hazel colour and really put emphasis on the black choker - the only thing that wasn’t of a light shade.

“Wait hang on,” Jaehyun started, ruffling his hair a bit so that it stuck up in a way that Ten described as _‘fucking adorable’_. “There we go, you’re all ready.”

“Oh god, hyung!” Jisung shouted, clutching his stomach even more when Mark turned to look at him curiously. “You’re so different!”

“Shut up,” He hissed out, hoping that the words didn’t come out as embarrassed as he felt. “It’s only a date. I don’t know why my outfit is such a big deal.”

“It’s a _date_ ,” Doyoung repeated, raising his eyebrow. “Your outfit matters a _great_ deal-“

 

The older was cut off by his phone ringing from where it lay on the bed, the contact of _‘Tae-hyung <3’ _appearing innocently on the screen as he accepted the call.

 

“Hey, hyung,” He greeted, signalling at the others to be quiet so he could hear the older better.

“Hey, Mark! You ready?” Taeyong asked and he hummed in agreement, rushing to the front door and stuffing his feet into the first pair of sneakers that were his size. “Are there people with you?”

“Uh, no!” He quickly answered, glancing at his entourage who had taken the courtesy to follow him to the front door. “Just um…just some unimportant people.”

“Wow, thanks.” He heard Jisung mutter as Donghyuck kicked him in the shin lightly.

“Sure, sure,” Taeyong responded, chuckling at the end and probably knowing that their whole friendship group and his _brother_ was there. “I’m outside, I can hear all the footsteps.”

“Right, sorry,” He apologised, taking a deep breath and straightening his posture before hanging up and opening the door.

 

Mark would never forget the way Taeyong’s jeans hugged his calves and thighs, nor would he ever forget the way the shirt hung off his shoulders underneath the leather jacket.

 

Mark would also never forget the way that Taeyong stared at him in that one moment - like he were some prized jewel at an auction that he must own at that moment.

 

“Um…hi?” He greeted, shuffling a bit underneath the other’s intense gaze and trying his best not to scream at the other’s outfit.

“Seems like you _do_ have people with you,” Taeyong stated, amused, once he had snapped out of his trance and waved to everyone who waved back. “Ready to go, Baby Lion?”

“Yeah…” He answered, stepping out the door before turning back. “Jisung, lock the door.”

“Will do, hyung,” Jisung replied, giving him a finger salute and causing him to chuckle before gesturing to Taeyong to lead the way since he had no idea where they were about to go. He watched as Taeyong laughed at him instead and leaned in closer until his lips were on his, several cheers erupting from the open door behind them.

“You look really good,” Taeyong whispered, smiling gently at him and causing his cheeks to heat up. “Was the choker Doyoung’s idea?”

“How did you know?” He asked, voice coming out small as Taeyong laughed at him and ruffled his hair in affection.

“Maybe you’ll find out someday,” The older answered before resting his hand on his lower back and gently pushing him towards a shiny red car that waited on the curb.

“You have a car?” He asked, staring at the stationery vehicle and trying to commit every crevice to memory.

“No,” Taeyong answered, quickly pressing a kiss to his cheek as he opened the passenger door for him. “But I know people who do.”

“Mysterious and shady,” He replied, getting in to the car and putting his seatbelt on as Taeyong entered the driver’s seat. “I like it.”

“No, you just like me,” Taeyong pointed out and Mark couldn’t help but slap the other’s arm before they began to drive to their first date together.


	15. Perfection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “My first kiss was on this carousel and I want our first kiss to be here too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took so long for me to update, I'l expand on that point later in the end note...
> 
> BUT THANK YOU FOR 250+ KUDOS WTHHH YOU ALL ARE SO AWESOME AND MAKE SURE YOU KEEP SMILING 
> 
> ^_^

“You took me to an…amusement park?” He asked the older and Taeyong nodded his head happily like a small puppy. “Really?” He asked before sighing at how _childish_ his first date was.

“Please?” He heard Taeyong ask and felt his resolve crumbling, opting to silently slip his hand into Taeyong’s and drag them away from the entrance. “Ah! Baby Lion! Stop!” He heard Taeyong shout and let a small smile rest on his lips as they moved to line up for tickets.

“I can’t believe you,” He commented, shaking his head after he saw a child run in front of him holding a large teddy bear. “I’m nearly in high school and _you_ are nearly an _adult_!”

“Just this once?” Mark sighed internally since the pleading look on Taeyong’s face was too powerful for the other’s own good. “I want to go to the ferris wheel.”

“Oh my _god_ , you are such a kid,” He complained but relaxing and squeezing the older’s hand in reassurance. “But just this once.”

“Thank you, I love you,” Taeyong said happily, kissing his cheek before stepping up the ticket booth and ordering two unlimited student tickets - the total ended up being quite pricy, so pricy that Mark was sure Taeyong’s parents didn’t give him enough money to fund for them. Not to mention the food that they were going to have to eat for dinner. It wasn’t until Taeyong was leading him to the carousel that he realised just how childish his boyfriend truly was. The wide eyes of excited children made him feel oddly left out since he was about twice the size of the ride’s main riders. 

“The carousel?” He asked, trying to resist how Taeyong pulled him towards the ride but the wide smile on the other’s face proved to make that very difficult. 

“Yeah…it just really pretty and I thought-“ He watched as Taeyong took a deep breath, this whole new vulnerable side to the older being quite refreshing to see since it contradicted his usual intimidating appearance. “I thought you would look really pretty under the lights…not that you aren’t pretty already! It’s just…never mind.”

“No, tell me,” he let out, walking closer to the other who gulped loudly and looked away, instead dragging him to the end of the carousel line. 

“It’s kind of a big…thing for me…” Taeyong whispered, slowly bringing his eyes up to meet Mark’s own. “My first kiss was on this carousel and I want our first kiss to be here too.”

 

_Oh._

 

“W-Who was your first?” He asked, deciding to ponder on the fact that he wasn’t Taeyong’s first kiss later. “Ten-hyung?”

“It was actually Doyoung,” Taeyong stated flatly, sighing after in regret and shaking his head. “We were here as a group and Jaehyun pushed Doyoung who fell on me and well…we kissed by accident. But…Ten and I did share our first kiss here.”

“I see a tradition going on, hyung,” He stated in amusement, smiling when Taeyong looked away with his cheeks burning a bright red. 

“So…is it okay?” Confused, Mark stared at the older who took a deep breath before speaking again to clarify his question. “Is it okay if I kiss you on the carousel?”

 

_Is it okay?_

 

_Yes, it’s more than okay._

 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, hyung,” He whispered back, smiling softly at Taeyong who smiled back in relief and before he knew it, they were scanning their wristbands that they had yet to put on and sitting on one horse together since tiny kids had occupied the rest. The one horse that had been free was a nice sunny yellow, it’s saddle painted a dark brown with multiple other swirls in orange and white. Their position was uncomfortable due to the pole that was being pressed up against his front but the warmth of Taeyong’s body blanketing him from behind was enough to make it bearable.

“Here, I’ll put your wristband on.” He heard Taeyong whisper from behind him, the older’s breath warm against the skin of his ear with his fingers being _warmer_ as they gently wrapped the wristband around his right wrist. “It’s not too tight, is it?”

“No, it’s just right, hyung,” He replied, carefully taking the other wristband from Taeyong’s fingers and wrapping it around Taeyong’s left wrist since the older’s right hand gripped the pole to keep him steady. “That’s not too tight is it?”

“No, it’s perfect,” Taeyong replied, resting his head on Mark’s shoulder as the ride began to start, the soft music making Mark smile in content. “Just like you.”

“I’m glad,” He whispered, melting into Taeyong and enjoying the slight lull that came with the carousel’s horse bobbing up and down in time to the music. “I really love you, hyung.”

“Mark-ah,” Taeyong called and he hummed to show he was listening as he felt Taeyong’s free arm snake around his waist, the warmth being welcomed. “I don’t know if I can wait until you graduate. I want to date you as soon as I can.”

“Then date me,” He replied, proud of his voice for not wavering at all and sounding more confident than he felt. “Please be my boyfriend, hyung.” He heard Taeyong let out a small, breathy laugh before the arm around his waist tightened and Taeyong was asking him to look at him - Mark complied since nothing good would come from disobeying on a carousel. This position was slightly more uncomfortable than the last, his upper body was turned nearly all the way around but seeing Taeyong’s face made it all worth it. 

“ _I_ was meant to ask you, Baby Lion,” Taeyong whispered, his eyes staring into Mark’s so much that Mark found himself getting lost in the dark orbs that he always admired from afar. “But I will be yours. I will always be yours…” Mark couldn’t help but glance down at the older’s lips - couldn’t help thinking about what a _kiss_ was like. “I love you, Mark Lee.”

 

He smiled when he felt Taeyong’s lips lay themselves over his, immense warmth spreading throughout his body and for the first time in a long time, Mark felt _content_ with what he had in front of him. As their lips engaged in an off-beat dance of push and pull, Mark let his mind focus on the erratic beating of his heart alongside the way that Taeyong’s small hums made electrical sparks dance up and down his spine. He didn’t want it to stop - it was too addicting, _Taeyong_ was too addicting - but the warmth faded slightly, causing Mark to open his eyes that he didn’t remember closing. 

 

“Was that okay?” He heard Taeyong ask him and he couldn’t help but smile as the ride gradually began to slow down in time with the music. 

“No,” He answered, smiling softly as their horse came to a stand still. “It was perfect.” He saw Taeyong’s lips curl into a grateful smile as kids hopped off their horses and ran to their parents. “Just like you.”

“Thank _god_ ,” Taeyong replied, slowly getting off the horse and helping Mark down after. “Because it was like that for me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for me to expand on why it's taken such a long time for this story to get a new chapter (and a lot of my stories, honestly):
> 
> 1) My editor who has been editing my stories since before I started this account has decided to focus on their university work since they are graduating this year. I am very grateful to my editor and I thank them so much for all of the hard work they have done in editing my stories and directing the flow of plot as well as helping me develop my writing style. They are truly like my older sibling and even though have told me to keep this departure between us, I felt the need to let my readers know for without them, I wouldn't be delivering this quality of writing (so first, let's all say "thank you editor" - THANK YOU EDITOR EVEN THOUGH YOU TOLD ME NOT TO SAY THIS)  
> 2) I have been going around to everyone I know and so far I have some people editing each story of mine but they have no intention to keep doing this long term.
> 
> Which brings me to my next point: Do I need an editor?
> 
> The short answer is yes. Yes, I need one for I am actually very insecure about my writing and plot lines and often also forget due dates which lead to the lack of updates. So what is the point of me complaining?
> 
> Well....after talking with everyone I know irl, I have decided that everyone I know are currently in major milestones of their education and careers (wow that makes me sound old even when I'm not an adult...yet). So, if there are any kind souls out there who are not that busy and would like to become my editor, feel free to message me on Tumblr (@seachelle623) so we can talk about it. However, please keep in mind that becoming my editor means that you must have read all of my current ongoing stories and series (since it can become a hassle to keep track of who edits what story). So uh...yeah, if you want, message me.
> 
> Also, this will be going on my other stories as well as soon as I update them so if it seems like a 'first come, first serve' kind of thing, it might not be since I would like to get to know a few people and see who I get along with the most before appointing an editor who would have to deal with crazy ideas and texts at random times. But if you aren't okay with any of that, you can just not message me and continue reading the story when it updates. ^_^
> 
> KEEP SMILING EVERYONE

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not own NCT Dream, NCT 127 or even NCT in general. All credit goes to rightful owners.


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